I do not know how many people watched 13 Reasons Why but that song it just gets me in my feelings so much that I know I will go back to my ex after all the shit hes done...but I know I don't need him, Imma prove to everyone that I don't need him. Imma glow up. Imma live a better, healthy-er life, Imma start changing more of the clothes that i buy, OMG I WEAR MOM JEANS NOW!!!! MY MOM TOLD ME THEY SUIT ME BETTER!!! I wear mom ripped jeans and crop tops.
Guys, so i had found out that jaden called me a gold digger...
Okay first of all if i was a gold digger i wouldve been taken advantage of him. Second of all i dont think gold diggers reject money given to them...He offered to pay MY rent bill, electrical bills, all bills and my grandmothers. So i dont know why he would say that. Oh wait I forgot he just wants to seem like the good guy. Now i wish i didnt delete our conversations. Because i could deadass show that i was talking abt my family issues and abt how i work with family members to get paid to help out with the bills at home and my grandmothers. He was also very kind, he was like "whats ur address?" "that i will send money to u" I SAID NO Because i didnt love him for his money. and HE KNEW THAT I SAID THAT!!! So he has no right to call me that!!! I told him my problems, he told me his. Now i can really be a fucking bitch and expose his secrets but deep deep down i know thats wrong and he would never come to me when he has a problem, and he knows all he has to do is unblock me and i could do the same and talk to him. Even if he did cheat, even if he did treat me like crap, even after all the stupid dumb shit he did, I would still treat him the same as all my ex's. Well most of them. The point is if he was in trouble i would try my best to help him out. cause even when i was at my worse when on speaking terms wit him he was there for me. Anyways the point is I am no gold digger. I would never be with someone for money. I will never be like that. Never in my life. Now i have heard so many bad things abt me coming from his mouth, but never thought he would call me that. I am truly hurt when i found out abt this. I literally started crying and broke down in the middle of the supermarket because of this. everyone thought i was crazy or something i just ran out of the supermarket and went home. Never again opening up abt my family issues like that to anyone ever again. We are okay now my mom and dad paid off what we were late on and i paid my grandmother $850 because i knew her work days have been going slow.
NEWS FLASH MY B00BZ I HATE THEM!!! BECUZ 1. THIS BOY IN MY BUILDING ALWAYS FINDS A WAY TO TRY AND COME TO MY APT AND SEE ME!!! 2. My building is filled wit horny teenage boys 3. Im pretty sure if i go by the places my ex would hang out at he would stare at my b00bz and try to get wit me for S3XZ or Head tbh I wouldn't go back wit him or maybe I would...
My head is just fucked up because of him.
You can't break someone or something that is already broken.
Do you guys know when you are being raped your whole body shuts down?
Yeah well, in the same sorta way my body shuts down after being told I'm nothing, I'm worth nothing, I'm useless, I'm dumb. N' more.
It hurts, but I can't seem to feel pain...at all. I had to break my arm just to see if I would feel pain...but I didn't feel anything, nothing at all, I called someone, they came to my house and picked me up and took me to the ER...I don't think I saw this much disappointment in his eyes before....I literally wanted to cry because I know I did that to him.
I could never forgive myself for that. so now I have a mad cousin, a broken arm with less than 24 hrs to go to school at 9:00am in the morning.
When my cousin found out why i did what i did....When i tell you he broke his window he broke it into so many fucking pieces and I literally got so fucking scared of him, he was a professional boxer and fighter plus he got anger issues so when i got to his place he just punched his punching bag and then he go rlly pissed off and he punched his wall causing it to break. I really got upset that i made my cousin do that. he never and i mean never does that unless hes pissed of and disappointed in someone and that someone was me.
So now i have a broken arm, my cousin is still upset with me, and he has a sprained hand or wrist.
