[dreamnotfound] forever yours, George

six

sweet summer 16. two months of freedom.

you celebrated your birthday with me on a sandy dock off the deep blue coast south of your house. it wasn't windy and it wasn't cloudy and it wasn't painful. it was sugar and heat and salty water and popsicles.

i let the popsicle leak through my hands. it felt cool and sticky and wrong but it felt like a memory to dig up again.

"happy 16th." i told you.

"i love your eyes. how do they get like that?" you asked me.

i shrugged. i was born like this. my parents made it seem normal to me and my sister, but i never really noticed how paranormal my eye colour was. you really liked it though.

"i was born this way, idiot."

you grinned at me. you got so tan in the summer, you looked golden. your teeth were straight, and brilliant white. i wish i had the confidence to tell you how much i loved your smile back then.

we stayed on the beach all day. you stripped off your shirt and cut through the water until you were able to float on your back. i tried not to stare at your chest.

when you got out, your hair was wet. i used my hands to comb through it and pull it into something fathomable while you sat with your back to me and your fingers digging in the sand. even at a young age, your body was toned enough to pass as an athlete and you were tall enough to be an adult.

and then we laid on the grassy hill by my house under the stars, after the sun had set. your wonderful eyes reflected the stars above us. you stroked my cheek and told me i was beautiful. i prayed to god that you couldn't see me blushing.

the summer felt like it passed by in the blink of an eye. warm evenings, cool nights, sleepovers with lemonade and horror movies and braiding your hair under the sun.

you were so blind.

how could you not see that i loved you? i couldn't be any more obvious. even when i was putting in the time to cover it up, i looked like an idiot, following you around and watching you grin.

or maybe i was blind.

did you love me? was the tender look in your eyes filled with something else? did i waste all that time pinching myself for loving you when you felt the same way?

forever yours,
George