wicked games

chapter twenty three.

- ASAHD-

We're standing at opposite ends of the kitchen, staring at each other. I look at the papers she signed one more time before I realize this is actually happening.
" You're kidding."
" Am unhappy.."
" I've made you happy, I've given you everything."
" But you don't wanna have a family."
" I said I will......"
" Think about it, I heard you the first time."
" It doesn't have to get to this."
" It already has," she sits on the floor and grips her hair.
" How long have you wanted to leave me."
" It doesn't matter, but it's the healthiest idea for both of us."
" It's not for me, I love you. I would die without you. And am gonna lose you cause we can't agree on a kid?"
" It's not agreeing, you don't want children."
" I do now, ill'd do anything for you."
" That's exactly why we can't do this anymore. You're only doing this for me. I don't want that. I want you to do this for our child."
" I will, I promise."
" You won't, cause you don't want to. And I have had enough of this Ashley bullshit, for goodness sake she's trying to kill me."
" I'm working on it........" I try to get to her....
" NO, NO, I don't want you close to me. Please."
" We can work this out, we don't have to break up."
" There's no other way out. You've made it so clear, If I stay with you, then I'll be unfair to myself. Like it or not am going to be a mother one day, and I don't want my children to beg for your love."
" Don't say that."
" Am sorry, but we can't be together anymore, I want out."
" What are you going to tell everyone?"
" They all hid this From me, they'll have to deal with it.
" Don't leave me baby, I'll die....."
" Am doing this for us. This is hard for me too. But am helpless. How would you feel if your mother told you your father never really wanted you......"
" Don't leave me Amelia, I love you."
" Am going to stay at a suite, I can't be here right now."
"Please no, you're not safe out there."
" I can have as many bodyguards as you want. But right now, my heart is not safe with you."
" I won't sign them."
" If you love me you will, we have different priorities right now,"
" You're my priority."
" I have another." She gets up and leaves the kitchen. I follow her out.
" Amelia am begging you. We have so much time to figure this out. Please. Months, just a few months and I can give you a baby."
" I don't want you to give me a baby, I want US TO HAVE A BABY!!!"
" Many couples go through this, we don't have to divorce."
" We're not having that situation, you know what the difference between you and your father is? He loved you and was doing everything for you. He wasn't as around but he gave you everything, when he was there he did everything fathers do for there sons. But you, but you......"
" It's so much stress Amelia, crying, shitting, diapers, time, so much time. I can't handle all that yet. Please."
" This isn't about your father.... Or Arabella.... It's about you."
" Yes, yes it is... I want to give you the world, but a baby, a baby is a huge responsibility. All the attention and time goes to the kid. People plan for children, make sure everything is set before it happens.
And am not ready for that. I have so much work to do right now I haven't the time to spare for a kid."
"ENOUGH!!!!!!!!" She breaks down crying hard. " What makes you so different from other business men with children? Work right. You want to be the most hard working billionaire in the whole world. Please don't follow me." She continues leaving..
"Am begging you, don't leave me."
" I don't love you any more."
"Course you do,"
" Not as much as I love p."
Am processing her words.
" What?"
" I've been seeing him for the last five weeks."
" You're lying."
" He's always with me when you're not around."
" It's a lie."
" It isn't, right now he's the best man I know. I love him and he loves me, he's having daddy issues and I guess I understand him.
" Ill'd have Known."
" Looks like you don't know everything anymore. I just want my children to be Happy. And you can't give them that."
" It's a lie."
" Deal with it, you can break the news to everyone. And tell your crazy girlfriend maybe she'll leave me alone."
" Amelia....."
" Send the papers to my father's lawyer. Goodnight Mr jibawi."
"AMELIA!!!!!!"
She leaves me on my knees, my whole world falling apart in front of me. And am helpless, asahd jibawi is helpless. No, it's a lie. She could never cheat on me. I know that. Ill'd obviously know. Why am I fucking thinking about this. She's leaving me. She wants to leave. She already has. She's just angry. Am sure it's just anger. Yah yah, I look at the signed paperwork and finally flip out. She's really going to divorce me for this shit. She's acting like she's already pregnant God forbid. Not an option. She is on birth control. She's seriously exaggerating. We're only eight months into the marriage, and I've only enjoyed her four months. So where did all these children shit come from. And who the fuck is p????
I go by the counter and drain a bottle of beer. She'll come back, she's just angry. But the divorce, she fucking signed it.
Nina walks into the kitchen angry.
" You just let go of the only woman you ever truly loved."
" She'll come back."
" You think so? She loves you, you love her and you're still scared to start your family."
" Please...."
" Please what? You want to be father of the year. You can't always be there but it's with reason. Such is life asahd no one is perfect.but you just lost her...... For good."
" Don't say that to me. I was going to do it. Later on."
" There is no later on."
" I promise I was..... Just not now,"
" When are you going to man up? You know what, there better off without you."
" They....... Her and this p guy?"
" Yes her and p."
" Why didn't you ever tell me about him."
" Wasn't my story to tell. But right now, am questioning myself. I always thought maybe it's me, your mother, your father, but no, It was always you."
" Who's p....."
She looks a bit taken aback.
" She Didn't tell you?"
" No..... But you will."
" Like I said, not my story to tell. Ask your ex wife."
" Nanny!!!!"
" This is your marriage.you ruined it yourself."
She walks out on me.
P is real.
P is fucking real.
Amelia loves another....
"No....No.....NOOO!!!!!!!!"
I drop the wine shelves. She loves someone else. No,I grab more beers and start to destroy my home. How could she? I gave her everything, EVERYTHING SHE EVER WANTED. I GAVE HER MY HEART. and she loves someone else. No fucking way. Nanny knows, my fucking nanny watched my wife love another man and she let it happen. What, to get back at me for all the shit I ever did? Do I really deserve this. Oh maybe fucking p promised her children.
FUCK!!!!!!!!"
I drink the shit out of myself for an hour or more.
I call Massimo,
" Asahd this better be good, it's one in the morning...."
" She left me... Amelia left me for another man."
"You're drunk... Aren't you?"
" It's no fucking joke........ She wants a divorce."
" She what?" Laura's sleepy voice intervenes.
" She left me......"
" Why!!!!!!"
"Kids, fucking kids. I don't know why she's making such a big deal I agreed to do it."
" OMG." the feeling of pity coming in, I smash my phone against the wall. I head back to our room. Break glass. Push the bed and throw sheets everywhere. I'm trying so hard to feel remorse but no, my broken heart loves her more than ever. I hate myself. I was going to do it, I was. But she went and found someone else to love.
Ahhhhhhhhhh
I hit her vanity mirror.
Nina storms in and stands by the door way crying.
" Am sorry, am sorry darling don't hurt yourself."
" So you care about me now."
" You know I love you more than life. You were very cruel to her but don't hurt yourself."
" I was cruel, me? She fucking cheated on me. And you knew. You fucking you. I smash a perfume bottle next to the door she falls to her feet. It hurts me to see her like that. But she did this to me. She kept it from me.
I start pulling out her vanity drawers while screaming at nanny.
" Am gonna kill him. She is my wife, my woman. And some fucker thinks he can take on my woman. Who in the world had the guts to touch asahd jibawi's wife. ASAHD JIBAWI!!!!!"
" stop it!!!!!!"
" Why didn't you tell me, I trust you with my life and you kept a secret that destroyed my life."
" No!"
" Then who the fuck is P?" I pull the last vanity drawer and shut the fuck up when this falls out.

" She's pregnant ASAHD. P is your child."
My brain is slowly shutting down. I fall to the ground in disbelief. With shaking hands, I slowly pick the kit up. I've never felt so much fear... Ever, what have I done.
" She found out the night you went to Iraq,"
"She's known this whole time?"
" Yah, she wanted to surprise you. Untill you opened up about your remorse for children."
" I wouldn't have said those things if I had known."
" Do you feel any different now that you know?"
I look at her, lost and without expression.
" She'll never forgive me."
" I wouldn't either. You've given her every reason to not want your son around you. This stupid fear of yours has pushed them away."
" I didn't mean to."
"But you did, and she didn't miss her shot, both of you did this.this was a surprise to her too. Whatever the case, you made papa together. If she doesn't come back it's not her fault. Butt the kid. What are you going to do about your child?"
I rest my head on the floor and land on a folded paper. I unfold it.

Am going to be a father. I force a smile as I cry out. Nothing that I do can erase the horrible things I said from her head. What have I done?
I grab my phone and call her. On the fourth ring she picks up.
" Hello darling, Missed me already?"
ASHLEY.