MUSE // A Harry Styles Story

Do You Really Not Know?

Lia had all the windows down and the music up before she was out of the drive. The music. She needed Harry's voice to help her decide, but what song?

Gemma's song. It was the purest, most unadulterated three minutes and forty five seconds of his voice that she knew.

She wanted to see him. Hold him. Kiss him. Go to the place they'd found where they became one being. Where they were love.

But... always the 'but'... what good could this really do? Just put off the inevitable? Why? Why did it have to be inevitable? What if it didn't have to end?

That's crazy talk, she scolded herself. He had never talked about after, never brought up the possibility that it didn't need to end. Then again, he had never said that it absolutely had to. She realized that he had never really talked about the end in any concrete way at all.

On the third play of the song, nearly around the lake the second time, she decided. She would go.

Anne and her father were deep in conversation when she pulled back in.

"Lia, I really think you should go."

Wow, now even Papa was on Harry's side.

"I'll go. I'll follow you, Anne. I don't want to be stuck without my own transportation. Are you going to tell him I'm coming?"

"No. I think it'll be best if you just arrive. How soon can you be ready?"

"Five minutes. You should come up to my room, I've got something to show you."

Anne loved the poster.

*****

Harry must have heard Anne pull into the driveway, because he was out the front door, looking disappointed that no one else got out of the car, when Lia drove in a moment later. Anne went straight in, leaving them alone.

"Hello Harry."

He looked terrible, haggard. He hadn't shaved in days, his hair was lank, and the always puffy bits beneath his eyes were bigger than ever and dark from lack of sleep. She was sure that she felt an actual fissure open in her heart when she saw him.

"I'm glad you came. Will you walk with me?"

Lia could feel the effort it took for him not to touch her as they crossed the lawn. He was close, so close. His shirt flapped against her arm with each puff of breeze. Instead of sitting on the grass by the beach, in their place, he continued out onto the rocky shoreline. Lia climbed after him until he settled on a large outcropping with a flat surface, just big enough for two.

"I found this place while you were away. We were always looking out at the sea, never around us, and we missed it. I've sat here a lot the past few days. With Mum, or Gemma, or alone. I didn't want them to come, but Louise asked them anyway. The point is, I'm glad they're here."

"Was it you or Louise who sent your mother to me today?"

"Neither. She got your address from Ed, and left before we knew she had gone. She left me a note." He almost smiled. "All the women in my life leaving me, with only a note to say why."

"We both came back."

"You didn't want to."

"I didn't, but if you need to see me one last time, if that will help you, then it's worth it. You've been happy this summer, Harry, and I want to know that you'll carry some of that happiness forward, after you leave, after this ends."

"Bloody hell, Lia, how can you do that?"

The anger and anguish in his voice startled her. He stood and paced on a small stretch of sand between the rock and the water's edge.