Finding Him // c.d SEQUEL TO COME BACK

Chapter 21

Cameron's Pov

I was anxious and nervous and everything in between.

"Alex," I say out of breath, since I just ran up three flights of stairs. I had to ask her something before she went into surgery. "Yesterday, you thought I was dead, why?"

She fumbles around with her fingers before answering, "I- um- the daybefore Amy died, I had a dream of her with my dad and skylar, in this blinding white room, an they said 'your safe now.' Um, I had the same dream the other night, but you were with them," she sighs.

Alex's Pov

"Alex.." Cameron breathes out, "I love you okay, remember that," he says and holds my hand.

The nurse walks in, "c'mon sweetie."

"If I don't see you again I want you to know I love you more than anything on this planet, and if I don't see you tomorrow, I'll see you soon. One day." I say, tears spilling out of my eyes and he quickly wipes the, away.

He gives me one last kiss before I walk out, and wave goodbye to him.

Ten minutes later I was sitting on the operating table and the doctor, with a mask, brought a cup thing that covers my nose and mouth.

"I want you to think of something that your love. Your happy place." He says and than counts down "5,4,3,2."

And then sleep took over me.

---

My eyes shot open and I was standing in the middle of the hospital. The hospital was completely empty, and everything was really white.

"Hello?" I yelled and it echoed throughout.

"Hey," someone said and I spun around. I saw a girl with blonde hair, she looked about my age.

"Who are you?" I asked, looking around and my eyes latched onto a blinding white at the top of the room.

"I'm Chloe," she smiles, "what are you looking at?"

"I don't know, some white blob that goes on and on," I say and take my eyes off it and look at her. She's looking exactly where I'm looking.

"The light." She states.

"Do you see it too?" I ask, looking at her.

"No, but I have before." She says says looking back at me.

"Before?"

"You know, when your put under, have you not been put under before?"

"I don't think so," I shrug.

"Sometimes you see it, sometimes you don't," she says walking around and I follow her. "I have cystic fibrosis, what about you?"

"Fibrosarcoma." I state, "so are we like both in surgery now?"

She laughs, "looks like it."

"How come I see the light and you do. What does that mean?" I ask following her as we walk upstairs and down halls.

"Well your closer to it them I am."

"How are you so relaxed? I'm kinda freaking out right now," I reply.

"You and I both have a disease. I might die, you might, I've learned to live with it. You have to too-" she looks at me, not knowing my name.

"Alex." I state.

"Alex," she finishes.

We entered an operating room and my body was lying on the table.

"That's me.." I trail off looking down at my body.

"Ya..." She says and I cringe looking at my body that's cut open. "You know you can give up if you want."

"What?" I ask, looking at her while she stands in the door way.

"It's okay if you give up. You can choose to go to the light, ya know."

"But what if I don't want to?" I ask and follow her out. "I feel like this is all a weird dream."

"Well it's all about perspective, " she starts, "the way you see things may be completely different from how I see things. Maybe you see death as a scary thing, but I could see it as something better, where I could be reunited in heaven with my grandparents."

I think I figured it out.

I'm just dreaming and this Chloe girl is my subconscious telling me it's okay to let go.

But I keep telling myself I have to live for Cameron.

It's like an argument within myself and I'm so done with it.

I love Cameron more than anything but is all the suffering really worth it?

"It's ok to let go," Chloe reassures me and keeps walking but I stop and sit down leaning myself.

The thing that sucks is I can chose to die but I can't chose to live, the cancer could keep coming back and slowly kill me from the inside.

This fucking sucks.

Chloe is now out of sight and the blinding white above me is growing larger.

Tears slowly fall down my cheeks as I walk into another room to see Cameron sitting down with his head in his hand. He lifts his head up and his eyes are puffy and red.

I've never really seem Cameron cry, maybe once, but he's always been really strong.

I left the room because it hurt so much seeing him cry.

I walk back into the operating room and I feel my heart sink and my breath hitches.

"We're losing her!" The surgeon yells.

One of them gets the shock thing, I have no clue what it's called, "3....2....1... clear!"

And that's all I hear before everything becomes a blur and the light takes over.

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Ily