I used to be the little girl that played with everyone at recess,
The one who smiled so widely,
That was until I found out the games I played with my cousins,
They weren't games at all,
They weren't good,
They weren't fun,
They were,
They are,
Horrible.
I used to be the first to speak in class,
Until what I said was wrong,
Until I wasn't supposed to tell anyone,
Until what they said was funny,
Yet oh so painful.
I used to be the one to cheer people up,
I used to never understand cutters,
It was so bad,
I would never do it,
Until I was in their shoes.
But here I am sitting in the back of every class,
Running away at recess,
No more games,
I don't talk to my cousins anymore,
And I finally get it,
Why people self harm,
Why they all wish to die,
Because I do too,
And all I want is someone to cheer me up,
I want to be that little girl again,
But I can't.
