Catch Me (Synacky)

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Brian

~Johnny~

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water,

Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.

I liked this rhyme. I liked the way the words bunched together. I said it over and over again, closing my eyes and remembering things, like Peter Pan and coloring with Zacky.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water,

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump-

No, no, that wasn’t right.

I cried to Brian. “Brian, I’m bored and I miss mommy and my head hurts.”

Brian said, ‘Don’t worry, Johnny. We’ll be out of here before you know it. Then you can call Mommy and we’ll see Zacky and eat something other than this boring rice. Don’t worry.’

Don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t worry.

I wondered where Jimmy was. I wondered why we were still in this tiny room. I wondered when I would get my first wiggly tooth.

“I haven’t had a wiggly tooth before, Brian.” I whispered, “What if my baby teeth never fall out?”

‘They will eventually, Jay.’ Brian was sad. I could hear him being sad. ‘You’re just going to have to be patient.’

Then he asked me to sing my ABC’s for him. And I did. I sang him all the songs I knew. When I got done, we were both crying.

~Brian~

I was scratching absently at the floor when the door finally opened. I gasped, fear building within me as I scrambled to the back of my tiny room. I had gotten accustomed to isolation, I liked it here. It was quiet and it drove me mad!

I didn’t realize I was shaking until an aid reached out and took my hand. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s time to come out now.”

They were not wearing white. They were wearing the blue polo shirts that the people who worked here always wore. The blue was a stark, different sight and I reached out and touched it.

Then I began to cry.

I followed them, still quivering and sobbing, and they dropped me off at my room. There was too much, too much, too much and I couldn’t take in everything at once.

There was that boy, what was his name?

‘Zacky.’ Johnny told me and I nodded. Yeah, Zacky. He saw me, then his arms were around me and he had tackled me to the ground.

“Brian!” he gasped, kissing all over my face. “I thought- I thought you had been transferred!”

I slowly slipped my arms around him, whole form still shaking. I couldn’t stop myself, I couldn’t calm down, no matter how hard I tried.

“Brian…” Zacky sat up and rubbed my arms. “You were gone for two whole weeks. Where were you?”

“I-Isolation.” I was surprised at how foreign my voice sounded. I looked at Zacky, soaking in the vibrant green of his eyes, his soft skin and butterfly lips. “I don’t know why.” My voice was a strange, harsh whisper. Zacky touched my forehead. He touched my cheeks and my nose and my mouth. His hands slid down my collar bone, across my shoulders, down my arms, grasping both of my hands.

“You must have been terrified.” He said. “Bad feelings.”

He bunched his eyebrows together and lifted his upper lip in a snarl, to demonstrate how he though I felt, and I smiled. “No, I just felt crazy.”

“Well, I’m crazy all the time.” Zacky’s voice dropped to a whisper, “Except for when you kiss me.”

“Surely not.” My lips were almost grazing his, and I could feel his breath on my overheated flesh. “Surely you’re not only sane when we kiss.”

“I don’t know.” Zacky murmured, “But there’s only one way to find out.”

Oh, how I had missed this.

Zacky’s lips were warm and chapped against my own, hands clutching at the hospital gown I had worn for two weeks straight.

“I missed you.” I whispered in his ear. “I was worried about you.”

He didn’t reply, but from the desperate way he clung to me, the way he tried to press himself ever closer, I knew he had missed me too.

We eventually pulled away, panting, trying to regain our breaths. I noticed a small, stuffed brown dog sitting on the bed and smiled. “Your pet! How’d you get it back?”

“Dr. Brooks saw it outside.” Zacky looked over at his pet and went to his bed, picking it up gingerly. “He brought it in for me.”

“That was really nice of him.” I caught the softness of one of his pet’s ears in between my fingers. “I know you were frantic when we had to leave it behind.”

Zacky nodded, then looked at me. He was forming thoughts, I knew it. When he didn’t speak right away, I found some clothes to change into. I was wriggling into a pair of jeans when he said, “Mum is coming to the institution.”

I froze, jeans halfway up my thighs. “What? What do you mean?” I asked, eyebrows wrinkling.

“Authorities found her. She’s coming to the institution to pick me up.” Zacky sighed. “Her flight is tomorrow.”

With a harsh tug, I pulled up my jeans and buttoned them, then went to sit with Zacky on his bed. “Really?” I asked, my voice coming out as a small squeak. “B-But I thought they couldn’t find her, I thought she- I thought you were…”

“She’s living in Montana. She’s studying animals.” Zacky frowned. “They couldn’t find her because she was in the middle of the woods studying a wolf pack.” He laughed, almost sarcastically. “She left Dad and me… to study dogs. Family dynamics in dogs. Why  not the family dynamics at home?” Zacky’s breathing became short and rapid, and he clutched his pet close to him. “I-I just wish-“ he cut himself off abruptly and didn’t finish.

I moved to hug him, but he pulled away from me. He curled up into a ball and began to rock back and forth, groaning quietly. I sighed and decided to leave him alone.

What the fuck was I going to do? Zacky’s mom was going to come and screw everything up. I just got out of isolation, for Christ’s sake! Everything kept getting worse.

“She’s probably going to take me with her.”

I threw my arms around Zacky, holding him tight. “C-Can you tell her not to, could you refuse? I need you, Zacky, I need you now more than ever. And you need me, too.”

“I don’t know.” Zacky whispered, burying his face in my neck. “I don’t know anything.”

The sound of footsteps in the hall had us reeling away from each other. Zacky hastily picked up a book, and I found a shirt to pull on.

It was time for dinner. And the well-oiled cogs of this place continued to turn. A small matter like losing Zacky and losing my sanity would never be able to stand in their way.