Catch Me (Synacky)

Epilogue: Brian

Okay, so maybe it ended a little abruptly. So what? What were you expecting? For us to share every moment of our entire institution experience? That’s really all of our story that I want to share.

To be honest, nothing much happened after that. After a few months, we got caught kissing and I was moved to a different room. And when I turned eighteen, I left the institution and went back to live with my parents.

Leaving the institution did not mean leaving Zacky. I visited him twice a week, we wrote each other letters, a few times I took him out to do something in town. And he got better, I think. Sure, he still had those fits, but they were few and far between.

When Zacky turned eighteen, we welcomed him into our home. My parents were okay with it, because they’re not heartless, and they didn’t want him going to the institution for adults (which includes the criminally insane). Zacky wouldn’t have lasted two minutes there.

It took us a while, adjusting to real life. I got a job at a fast food restaurant for a while. Eventually, we used Zacky’s dad’s inheritance (which wasn’t too much) and opened up our own business. We fixed up some dump downtown that we had bought cheap, and taught guitar there, five days a week.

I guess you might wonder about my alters. I don’t know what happened to them. There was that weird, crazy thing that happened with Jimmy after he revealed my repressed memory, and that was the last I saw of him. Johnny just showed up less and less, and I haven’t heard from him in years.

At any rate, they're gone. And I guess you might wonder why I was even in the institution in the first place, what Jimmy had done to put me there. But that’s a long story, a little strange, and definitely for another day. I guess it’s open to your imagination. Besides, it’s a story I don’t like to tell.

Zacky continued to visit Dr. Brooks, because they got along very well. We ate dinner with Dr. Brooks once a month to catch up, and we did that all the way until he passed away in 2008.

Zacky and I moved in together in 2002. We rented this cheap apartment near the place where we worked, and started building a life for ourselves.

If you’re expecting this to be beautiful, mushy shit then I’ve got bad news for you.

We never had kids, never even started dating. Sure, we were together and I guess we went on dates, of sorts, but I never asked him to be my boyfriend, and vice versa. I guess it was just implied. And we fought sometimes. Still do, in fact. Because sometimes I get really frustrated with him. I mean, he’s almost 33 and there’s still so much he can’t do, so much that I have to do for him. He still throws fits, when there’s too much going on or when he gets very stressed, but I try to be there for him to talk him through it.

Once, I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I left, and stayed at a hotel for a couple days, frustrated with him, and with myself. I didn’t go to work, and I left him to handle the onslaught of kids coming in that day for lessons. It was wrong of me, I’ll admit.

I thought about packing up my stuff and moving away. I thought, ‘I’m done, I can’t take care of him anymore, what the hell was I thinking?’

But really, it was me that needed him more than the other way around. I was back within a week.

We do have a dog. We weren’t technically supposed to, but Zacky got a certificate which said he could have an emotional support dog, and with that came Ichabod. Our landlord had no choice but to allow it. I don’t know what kind of dog he is, but he’s little and black and really the sweetest dog you’d ever meet.

Yeah, Zacky still has his pet. The thing’s damn near falling to pieces, and he doesn’t take it around with him wherever he goes anymore. But it sits on his nightstand, and sometimes he holds it when he’s upset.

And I am most definitely in love with him. I don’t quite know what we are, but I know that he means everything to me and I mean everything to him and that’s what matters. And I don’t think we ever are going to get married (besides, it’s still illegal in California) and that is just fine with both of us. He’s still the one I see when I wake up in the morning, the one who sings quirky little songs as he slides trays of cookies in the oven. He’s the one that makes kids smile when they come in for lessons, who sticks his tongue out of the right side of his mouth when he’s really into playing some Django Reinhardt piece. He’s the one that holds me when I feel sad, who always knows just how to cheer me up.

Even though he can’t drive. Even though he doesn’t do well in crowded places. Even though he lost a potential customer because he said she smelled funny (he was being honest, though). Even though sometimes he would stop what he was doing and scream and cover his ears and rock back and forth.

Everything else about him made him worth it. I can honestly say, the best decision of my entire life was when I chose to catch Zachary James Baker. And I am grateful every day that he decided to catch me.