Catch Me (Synacky)

Chapter Six: Brian

We fell into a routine, then. Zacky and I would wake up together, eat breakfast together, have our classes together. We did almost everything together, except they moved him to advanced math, and placed me in remedial, because of Johnny.

We didn’t talk much. I wanted to talk, that’s what friends did, right? But Zacky didn’t seem to like it. He liked being quiet and he was happy as long as he was near me, which made me feel good. I liked that he depended on me so much. Zacky really was sweet and adorable, after you got to know him. Which took a lot of time.

On New Year’s Eve, we were allowed to stay up until midnight. In the rec room, they showed New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. I thought about kissing Zacky at midnight, but decided against it. Not only would we get into huge trouble, he’d probably freak out.

But before midnight even hit, I blacked out.

~Jimmy~

God, what was I wearing? Who the hell even listened to Nirvana anymore? I thought their lead singer was dead or something.

I was sitting in the rec room, and Zacky was beside me. That wretched stuffed dog was in his hands. When would the kid ever grow up? He was worse than Johnny.

And what was on the TV? Oh, fuck. That New Year’s show. I felt my heartbeat pick up, my palms became slick with sweat. I hated New Year’s, I hated everything about the occasion. It all brought back bad memories, memories that I hadn’t even experienced personally. Memories that Brian had forced onto me, that I had to bear.

Memories that, he said, had created me.

It was at some fancy New Year’s party Brian’s family had been invited to. The kind where you wear tuxedos or dresses and you speak quietly and sip wine delicately from long stemmed glasses while you wait for the clock to strike midnight.

 Brian was nine years old.

There was a man there who was a close family friend of the Haner’s, so close that Brian and Brent often referred to him as their uncle. He was nice enough, a little off, he had a cockney accent and always wore a blue striped tie.

I’d always remember that blue tie. Brian can’t recall it at all.

In a home that the Haner’s trusted, with people that they loved, neither of Brian’s parents noticed when the man asked Brian to come outside to look at his car. None of them were aware of the abuse that took place.

When Brian returned, he was not the same boy. Within a few months, I was formed.

I could recall everything in such vivid detail, every word that man spoke, the fabric of the tie against Brian’s mouth, his tongue, gagging him. I can remember the fear and the pain and horrible chills that raced down his spine at every touch. I remember the tears, hot and salty, the words, “Don’t cry, little guy.”

Little guy.

Brian had called me that for a while. Until I had discovered a name for myself, learned more about myself, I had just been that. Now I knew why.

And the threat, “Don’t you tell anyone about this, boy. I’ll make your life a living hell.”

That was all it took for Brian’s mouth to be sealed shut, and his emotions to be locked up tight.

No, he didn’t remember this, because he forced it on me, and now I had to carry the weight of it. And that made me upset, it made me so angry. I was angry with that man, with Brian’s parents, with everyone, really.

And it only took that one event, but look what it had done to Brian. Because of what that man did, he was living in a mental hospital.

I know it was also because of what I did, it was mostly because of what I did. But I wouldn’t be here if that hadn’t happened to Brian.

I shoved all that aside. I didn’t want to deal with that right now, it made me feel sour and awful inside.

The ball dropped. The kids all counted down. Zacky had a smile on his face. At midnight, he kissed his stuffed dog and grabbed my hand. I jerked it away, lip lifted in a snarl of disgust. Brian might be into that shit, but there was no way in hell that I was.

Zacky took a sharp breath, and he bit his lip. But at least he didn’t curl up and make those weird ass sounds.

We were corralled into our rooms and told to brush our teeth and put our pajamas on. Zacky took his toothbrush and waited for me to get mine. “Go ahead.” I told him, “The last thing I want is to be brushing buddies with you.”

His expression changed to one of hurt, and he left without a word.

~Brian~

Zacky came back into the room, teeth brushed and pajamas on. He went straight to his chest of drawers, completely ignoring me. I sighed internally. I knew either Johnny or Jimmy had done something to offend him.

Zacky pulled out a couple silicone wristbands, and turned back to me. One was blue with the words Kennedy Space Center on it and the other was black with Math and Science Convention, 1994. He dropped them on my lap, frowning.

“Um, thank you…?” I said unsurely, fingering the rubber of the bracelets.

“They’re not for you.” He said. “The blue one is for Jimmy. The black one is for Johnny. I need to tell you apart and I…” he closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. “Just wear them accordingly.”

I believe that was the longest string of words Zacky had ever spoken to me. I nodded. “Look, Zacky, disregard whatever they told you. They can just be insensitive sometimes.”

Zacky didn’t reply. He just went to turn off the light.

I didn’t fall asleep, then, and neither did he. In fact, he didn’t even bother lying in bed. He sat up, legs crossed, facing the wall, his pet in his lap. I thought about asking him what he was doing, but in the end, I didn’t bother.

I turned over, pulled my sheet tighter around me, and moped about missing my guitar until I fell asleep.

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Author's Note: Okay, guys, I know a lot of you are probably thinking this sounds a bit like Social Norms, what with the abuse and all, but it's not, I can assure you. I spoke with my abnormal psychology professor about DID, and she said that the vast majority of DID cases come from abuse in adolescence, most of that abuse being sexual. No one is just born with DID, at least, there are no cases that I'm aware of.

Alright, that's it! I hope you guys are enjoying this story! Let me know what you think of it so far!

-foREVerADeathbat