Catch Me (Synacky)

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Zacky

Mum arrived at the institution at 1:47 on March 3rd. I was in Chemistry with Brian. We were supposed to be working together on our balancing equations worksheets, but I was balancing equations and he was struggling to try and help me, wondering what the II after Fe meant, and why would you put the 2 in front of oxygen and what the hell is boron’s atomic number?

Someone came to pull me from class. She said I had a visitor. So I told Brian I was just as clueless as he was about the assignment, and followed the aid out of class and across to the main building of the institution. My hands were shaking, and my palms were sweaty, but I didn’t know why. My mouth was dry and my tongue seemed too large. I clutched my pet tight in my hands and the aid led me to the main office.

Mum looked very different.

Her hair, which had been waist length when I had last seen her, was cut as short as a boy’s, nearly shorter than mine, and styled in a haphazard way. She did not wear makeup, and her glasses rested on the bridge of her nose. She was thinner, too. Much thinner. She was wearing a blue coat, the same blue coat she had gotten on January 6, 1993 because she knew it was my favorite color.

“Zacky.” She breathed, smiling and opening her arms. There were tears in her eyes. “Oh, Zacky I’m so sorry.”

I stared at her. I did not like her new hair cut. I did not like that she was so thin. I did not like that she had ever left.

She withdrew her arms. “Oh, Zacky…”

She was not on vacation. She had never been on vacation. Dad had lied to me. Mum had left, and she had had no intention of ever returning.

This is called abandonment.

“Baby, when I heard about James… I came as soon as I could. I was so worried about you…” she reached out to touch my shoulder, because I do not like when people get close to me sometimes and this is what we did in my family to say, “I love you.”

I did not know whether to throw my arms around her, to hug her and cry in her shoulder about how much I had missed her, or to jerk back to run away, because she had abandoned me. But was it abandonment if she came back for me?

“Why?” my voice was strange, harsh and raspy, “Why did you leave?”

“I-I had to. I just couldn’t stand being with James for another moment. And he was so good with you, Zacky, not once did he ever lose his temper because of you or get frustrated. And I knew if it had to be one of us to keep you, it had to be him.” Her voice broke. “I knew I was just getting in the way of you both.”

I never thought so. I loved both Mum and Dad. Not once did I think Mum was just getting in the way.

And, although I had terrible feelings rushing through me at full force, I did not know how much I had incredibly missed Mum until she was here, standing in front of me. I slowly stepped forward and she held out her arms again. This time I hugged her.

I had grown since I had last seen her. She pointed this out. “Look how much you’ve grown, Zacky!” Because I was taller than her, and I had never been taller than Mum before. “And-And your pet…” she stroked the worn fur of my pet’s head.

“How tall are you?” I asked, face still pressed into Mum’s shoulder, breathing in the scent of her perfume and something that reminded me of the woods.

“I’m five feet and four inches.” She replied.

I said, “I don’t like your hair.”

Mum laughed, “Oh, really?” she touched her hair absently, and wiped some tears away from her eyes, taking off her glasses to rub them on her coat. “I-I just needed a change, that’s all.”