WANT (completed)

ch. 36 | Let Me Go

CASSANDRA'S POV

My heart is thumping in my chest as I watch the door open. In my mind, it happens in slow motion, but it was actually pretty fast. For a second, I'm terrified. Am I at the wrong door? Did someone break in?

"Asa?" I smile at my handsome boyfriend that has appeared before me. I didn't realize he was already home. He must have gotten done early. His hair is a little disheveled and he's wearing some gray sweatpants, my favorite pair of his, and a black t-shirt. "You're back early. Good because I missed you." I continue, speaking faster than I normal. I'm too excited to see him. I step forward, reaching out to wrap my arms around his body when I feel his hands come down on my wrists.

Asa's fingers wrap around my wrists, gently holding me so I can't come forward. With a frown, I look up from his hands on my skin, seeing that his eyebrows are furrowed in confusion and his jaw is tense. "Cas, baby, you can't be here right now." His voice is firm, like he's talking to an employee of his, telling them what do to next.

I'm frozen, except I can feel my own eyebrows coming together as my face falls in confusion. "What's wrong?" I ask hesitantly, wondering if maybe I misunderstood our earlier conversation. Did I? All he said was that he was going to be working late and we would catch up in the morning, right?

My heart is suddenly pounding in my chest again, and that's when I hear a loud clatter, like something is just fell on the floor inside Asa's penthouse. Asa's head jerks back, his hands still holding onto my wrists as I watch him look over his shoulder. My own eyes flicker past his head, looking through the small space between his head and the door that is halfway open, and then they flicker back to him.

Someone's here.

Oh god, someone's fucking here. In Asa's penthouse. With him. Don't overreact, I'm silently telling myself. Maybe there's a raccoon, or a lost puppy he brought home, or a co-worker that had a bad day.

Oh, who am I kidding?

The noise coming from the TV is suddenly excruciatingly quiet even though the volume is up. I can hear footsteps and shuffling in the living room. I can practically hear the blood pumping through my heart and veins. Just like I can hear Asa sucking in his breath quietly, but it's just so loud in my mind.

Our eyes meet, and suddenly I feel sick. My eyes flicker shut for a brief second as I try to think.

Holy crap.

No, no, no.

This cannot be happening to me right now. I don't think I can even look at Asa right now. There's way too many thoughts in my mind. I want to think that he's the good guy and that it's not what I think, but why would he lie to me?

He's been home. He definitely wasn't at his office if he's dressed like that already. It doesn't make sense to me why he would lie about being home if he had a friend over or even a family member that I didn't know about. The only reason he would lie is if he's trying to hide something.

It doesn't matter what because he lied.

"Cas, It's not what you think," Asa's practically whispering and my eyes fly open when I feel his breath against my skin. I'm suddenly tugging my arms, trying to pull my wrists from his hands.

The last person to say those exact words to me was Ethan. It's not what you think. It's never what I think. I think my boyfriend isn't going to cheat on me and he does. I think that Asa isn't going to lie to me and he does. And right now, Asa doesn't want to know what I'm thinking, because it hurts.

"Cassandra. I know what you're thinking and I can explain everything to you but not now. Please," Asa frowns further, and his voice is showing me that he's begging me to understand. Just like he begged me to get involved with him, to give him a chance, to trust him. Just like Ethan begged me to stay even when he cheated.