WANT (completed)

ch. 39 | Telling the Truth

CASSANDRA'S POV

I'm completely frozen as I recall the events of Friday night, watching as Asa unlocks the door. I'm clutching my bag and binder to my chest, feeling so uncomfortable. It's only my fault though, as I allowed myself to come here with him.

The car ride here was silent, except for the soft music playing. I was okay with that. It's the talking part that's terrifying me. Asa is my weakness. I can't say no to him, so what is stopping me from forgiving him today, even if I shouldn't? I'm just scared that whatever he's going to tell me is worse than what I'm already thinking.

Asa holds the door open for me, and I slowly walk inside, my eyes glancing around. Nothing's changed in here, even though everything about us has. All my things are exactly as I left them, including the two pomegranates I left in the fruit bowl on the kitchen island and even my throw blanket left exactly how I had it, slightly hanging off one of the leather seats in the living area. I walk midway into the space, leaving my things on the edge of the couch.

"Relax," Asa's voice is deep, yet so gentle as his hands cup my shoulder's, startling me. Chills run down my spine as his warm breath hits the back of my neck, his hands sliding down my shoulders and arms, and then slowly back up. It's almost comforting me, but my guard is up, and I don't want to relax under his touch. My body is begging me to relax, but my mind is screaming at me to remain fully aware. "I love you."

I suck in my breath, holding it in as he slowly wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me back against him. His entire body presses up against the back of mine, and my eyes flutter shut. My heart is pounding in my chest and my head is throbbing with blood flow so much that I can't even think. Just as I open my mouth to speak, he does instead.

"He's not mine," Asa says clear as day against my ear and my entire body tenses up again. His hands rest against my waist, gently caressing me through the thin material of the white dress shirt of his that I have on. "There's so much more that I know I have to tell you, but...Andrew isn't mine. I know the second you saw him what it must have looked like, but I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't keep a secret like that from you."

My mouth is so dry and I'm completely speechless. How does one respond to that? Yay? Thank god, I almost thought that my boyfriend had a secret love child with his best friend? Although I am glad that he did not keep that kind of secret from me, he was keeping something. Asa did in fact lie, and we are in a serious relationship. He should have been honest with me, right?

I slowly turn around, gently moving his hands off of my waist, but he takes the opportunity to grab the back of my head with one hand and pull me closer by the hip with the other. Suddenly, my lips are captured by his in a soft, loving kiss. My heart melts, but I force myself to press my hands to his chest, jerking my head back against the strong grip of his hand on the back of my head. I turn my head quickly, looking down and to the side. "Stop."

Asa lets out a shaky breath and as much as I want to kiss him, I don't want to let my heart control me. If I give in now, that means I'm forgiving him and I am not ready yet. "I'm sorry," he says, letting his grip on me go and grabbing my hand instead. "Let's change, and then I can tell you everything."

Nodding, I let him lead me into the bedroom and then the closet. He starts taking off his clothes, and I quickly pull off the tweed blazer. He gives me one of his gray t-shirt that I love to sleep in and I frown, "I can't wear this to the office," I tell him. We can talk, but I have things to do and proposals to get started on today.

Asa lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. "If you think I'm letting you leave here without hearing me out or eating breakfast, then you're in over your head," he tells me as he strips down to his boxers, slipping on some gray sweatpants and walking around me to set his watch on the dresser in the bedroom.