WANT (completed)

ch. 52 | Falling in Love

CASSANDRA'S POV

"Relax."

That was the thousandth time that Asa had told me to try and relax, but really, it wasn't helping me at all. Usually, Asa is really good at comforting me and calming my nerves, but I also don't think that I've ever been this nervous before.

His hand wrapped around mine, pulling it up to his lips and placing a soft kiss on the back of it. I smiled weakly, feeling clammy and anxious as ever. Even after Asa told me not to, I stayed up all night looking up everything and anything related to ultrasounds and what to expect at my first one.

That was a terrible idea, and I totally should have listened to him, because all I could think about were the bad things I had read. Not to mention that I could vaguely recall my mother writing about her own while pregnant with Zac in the diary I had, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

"I'm sorry. I just can't help it," I choke out the words, my eyes fixing on Asa's lighter ones as he gives my hand another kiss.

"I know, but I'm here, okay? I told you not to look stuff up," Asa gives me a crooked smile, and I do feel the slightest bit relaxed just by his presence. He went into the office early today to get some work done and cleared up his schedule for the rest of the afternoon to spend with me after this appointment. "I know you, baby. I told you that it would only stress you out."

I sighed, nodding at him in agreement as I ran my hand over my exposed stomach, which was still flat as ever. The ultrasound technician had run to grab something after having set us up in the room. My head was propped against a pillow, but I still felt uncomfortable with how my leggings were rolled down and my top rolled up.

That was the difference between Asa and me. I hadn't come to terms with the fact that I was pregnant yet. He was excited and happy, and I was so glad for that, but nothing about me...felt pregnant. It was hard for me to accept it just like that, and that's why I was so nervous about this ultrasound.

"Alrighty. Sorry about that, I wanted to make sure this was warmed for you. It's gonna feel a little weird, but you'll get used to it," the technician said as she arrived back into the room, holding up a bottle of what I assumed was that ultrasound gel that they put on you.

I nodded at her, trying to give her a smile, but I'm sure she could tell that I was nervous. The first thing that she had asked, or more like pointed out, was if this was our first time here. She knew, likely by the deer in the headlights demeanor and Asa's constant reassuring towards me.

"If you're far enough along, we might actually be able to hear the baby's heartbeat today. It seems like your OBGYN believes you might be around six to eight weeks, but I'll be able to tell you a better estimate in a few seconds."

I'm not really listening to her, but I know that Asa is. Thank goodness for this man. I squeeze his hand nervously, and he gives mine a soft squeeze back in reassurance.

I bit down on my lip as the technician squirted the warmed gel onto my stomach, and she was right, it felt weird as hell. Within seconds, she had the ultrasound probe on my stomach, and I stiffened.

My eyes fixated on Asa, but he only smiled at me, before nudging his head towards the screen on the other side. I finally allowed my eyes to flicker over, focusing on the black and white image.

It was hard to tell anything at first, which I had been warned about. She had throughly explained that it's very possible that we may not see anything if it's too early. But within a few seconds, the image cleared up and I could see something.

"There we are. Right here," I watched as she pointed to a little blob, one that wasn't evidently a baby, but totally was at the same time. "A little bigger than we thought, actually. I would say eight weeks, on the cusp of nine."

Seconds later, our little blob moved, and this time, I could see everything so clearly, I was holding back tears. I felt Asa's grip on my hand tighten, and I squeezed it back, my breath shaky as I kept my focus on our little baby.

"There's the head, and you can actually see the baby's legs and arms right here," she pointed them out for us, before gliding another probe other my stomach.

Immediately, the room is filled with a thudding noise. It's loud and fast, and my heart literally stops for a second when I realize that it's the baby's heartbeat.

"Loud and clear. A super healthy heartbeat," she beams at me, but tears are threatening to fall now. I didn't think that I would react like this, but my heart felt so full in this very moment. All I could do was nod at her, and she smiled back at me again. "Everything looks great. You and the baby are healthy, and honestly, you're almost done with the first trimester, so we'll have you here again in a few weeks. But other than that, just keep taking those prenatal, and I'll have your doctor schedule you in again..."

"I'll give you two a few moments while I grab you a few images from today," She leaves the room, and I finally turn my head away from the screen, looking at Asa. He is already looking down at me, having lowered himself so he is closer to me. His eyes were moist, and I let out a little laugh as I felt my tears escape. His lips found mine, giving me a short but sweet and passionate kiss.

"That's our baby," I mumbled as we pulled back from each other, and he simply nodded, smiling at me as he kissed the top of my head.

"Are you okay?" Asa asked, his thumb gliding over my cheeks as he swiped away my tears. I have him a quick nod.

"Happy tears," I grab his hand, giving him another kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"Good. I love you," Asa grins at me. My heart melts again at his smile, knowing that we are happy and that nothing could take that away from us.

I was so happy. I felt good about this, about us. Asa and I getting married and having a baby. It was all so soon, but I love him and couldn't care less about what everyone else thought.

I'm ready for this. For this life with him.

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a/n: short little chapter to hold y'all over. I wasn't gonna write a sweet one, but I had to bcus they're sooo cute. I love them so much. okay, so next one is one of THOSE chapters. who is ready?