The Office Affair

Chapter 12: Faced with a Dilemma

I was able to survive yesterday's events. Today is nothing unusual and whatever Stijn has in store for me, I will be able to handle it. Anyways, I am getting something out of it since he will be coaching me on how to deal with my clients and that should be helpful to my career. Come to think of it, am I really fucking the boss just to gain an advantage?

As I walked to the office and sat down on my chair, I still kept on asking myself that. Am I losing my integrity just because I badly want to succeed in life? But then again, isn't that worth it? If someone asks me, would you rather have your integrity still intact even if you can't reach your dreams? My answer would be an immediate yes. I have to remember that I am doing it for myself and for my family too.

Wheeeeew. This is such a serious matter for me to think about early this morning. But seriously, isn't that something you would do just to reach your dreams? I need to hear the thoughts of my coworkers to know if I am doing the right thing.

As always, Agatha and Nicole aren't here yet so I asked Joana first what she thinks of the matter.

"Hey Joana. I have a question for you. Would you give up your integrity in exchange for reaching your dreams?"

"Good morning to you too Colton. What an interesting way to greet us early this morning. To answer your question, I probably wouldn't. There are tons of ways to reach one's dream and sure, sacrificing your dignity may help you reach that faster but I would ask myself, what kind of person would I be if I did that? At the end of the day, we will be measured by the kind of person we are and not the things we have achieved."

"Now see here's the thing," John replied as soon as Joana finished her statement. "Not everyone has the choice to even think about their dignity or integrity if they are trying to survive this world. If reaching their dreams mean that they can live happily together with their loved ones, then I can understand them.

Joana seemed to ponder on that thought and I waited for her to respond.

She then said "interesting. Does that mean you would be ok with... let's say murder, or doing a crime just for the sake of their self-preservation? Because these people are also just trying to survive in this world and you said that you understand them."

"Of course I am not okay with the extreme actions. And yes, I do understand them. That doesn't mean that I condone that behavior. I just know why they had to do it. Life isn't really all black and white and those who judge people for their crimes might have actually done it themselves. I am just saying, other people are doing it and they are getting away with it so at this point, it just seems pointless to pick and choose who to judge."

"I mean you have a point there. But I don't think it is fair to say that we should ignore people doing bad things just because some are getting away. That would just result in a chaotic society. It all boils down to holding yourself accountable to your actions. You shouldn't justify your wrong actions with a good outcome. If you chose to do it for your dreams, then good for you. But that doesn't excuse you of the consequences of your decision and you have to face it because the truth always comes out."

"Aren't we living in a chaotic society already?" John laughed and then he continued "but I do agree, whether you choose to do it or not...you better be ready for the consequences. Though I've heard some people who have been in jail for their family and they say that they don't regret their choices. Tragic ain't it?"

Okay that was an interesting exchange of thoughts and I certainly have some thinking to do.

"Yeah, I feel bad for those people. I think the system failed them but that is a topic on it's own and I don't want to get into that. Anyways, what prompted you to ask us that Colton? Don't tell me you are about to do some shit? I am warning you, whatever you do reflects on me as your team leader so you better act accordingly."