Babushka ✔, Valkyrae

49. he cursed

A/N This song is made for James.

And 20K. Wow. You guys are cRAEzy.

49. he cursed

It was weird.

It was very weird.

Especially the way love works.

Because James had vowed, he had taken an oath, a solemn oath. He had sworn on his dignity, whatever remained, that he'd not do anything for anyone that would make vulnerable again. That would break his already broken heart. He had promised himself to not get involved with this particular streamer, no matter what. In fact he was done with streamers, now. He was just done.

And he was doing good for two days.

James was preoccupied with work, assignments, meetings and calls, so much that he didn't even have time to eat proper food. He didn't have time to sneak a peek at his twin's stream, he didn't have time to even sit back for a minute to cool down.

However, Rachel Hofstetter never left his mind, not even for a second.

No amount of added work, distraction or anything could take her beautiful smile off his mind. Every time he found her playing and messing his sanity, everytime he thought about her insanely chaotic laughter, every time he imagined her sweet short form kissing him, it hurt.

It made him feel happy and lost, at same time.

What was in that short- purple beanie- girl that he couldn't get over her?

He tried in those two days to slowly have her off his mind, off his life. He knew that she wasn't going to retaliate his feelings because she didn't feel them.

And James knew better than to force someone to love him back.

He couldn't get his own twin back.

Rae was just a stranger.

James wished that he'd stop himself for being intrigued by her the first time he met her. The eggshells over her hair, smelling so foul and wrath written all over her gaze, he remembered everything pretty much like it was yesterday.

And he hated being this way.

Always on the losing end.

And hence he had taken the oath. To stop being tortured by his own doings. He knew it wasn't her fault, and not his twin's either. They knew each other first, and he was the outsider.

He had to go.

And as much as he respected Rae's decision, he couldn't help but be a helpless, self pitying guy who was losing.

James hated being helpless. He hated being stupid and he hated being in a one sided love game.

So he swore he was done with Valkyrae, once and for all.

That is until she called, and like a fool, he picked her call instantly, like it was the most important thing in the world.

James thought what he was going through was heartache enough and nothing would pain more, but hearing Rae's breakdown was some another level heartbreak.

'Rae,' He stood up immediately, shutting his laptop right away and rummaging through the car keys. 'Rae. Listen to me. I need you to breathe.' All he heard was muffled crying, and her broken speech. At this rate she'd get a nervous breakdown and he feared he didn't have enough heart left to let anything happen to either her or Mika. 'Breathe. I'm heading out. I'll be there in five.' She sobbed as he calmly spoke to her.

He was outwardly as calm as he was dying for anxiety from within.

'Breathe. Okay. Talk to me.' James quickly called the VET from his spare cell, while talking to the miserably crying girl. 'I am in my car, I'm starting it right away and I've informed the VET. We'll be leaving immediately, sweetie. Please don't cry.'

'I am scared James. I can't lose him.' He heard her meekly speak up, sniffing and sobbing as he started his car, rushing off to Alex's house. It was a good thing Alex stayed just nearby. 'I'll die.'

'Shut the fuck up.' He cursed, first time out loud. 'Nothing's going to happen to him or you.' He assured her and gulped nervously as he drove away. 'I won't let anything happen.'

_

To see her precious dog lay under observation was like seeing her life being slowly fading away in the dark.

Mika was everything to Rae.

He was there all the time and he's seen it all. He's seen her laughter, her chaos, her screams, the online demeanor, the off-line sighs, the breakdowns, the cuddling and the real Rae, which no one was even close to knowing.

And this was crushing her soul.

Currently they were in the vet's clinic which was a mile away from their place and James had beforehand informed them about their arrival. While Mika was still miserably choking and gasping for breath, Rae stood outside the shut OT, pacing and nervously biting her fingers.

It had been just fifteen minutes but seemed like fifteen months to her.

Every second ticking like a long weary day.

Rae hadn't stopped crying, constantly wiping her tears by her long sleeves, her stomach churning and her heart racing.

She had called her VET, tried talking to him but she couldn't and James had to talk to him. She tried attending to the medical procedure, but couldn't and James did that too. She couldn't even sign, her hands were shaking.

At this moment, Rae only hoped that nothing should happen to Mika.

And James pined all his prayers to her.

While she sat down, her legs trembling in fear, James got her a glass of water, holding himself and sitting next to her. Her long hair covered most of her face as she sat holding her head.

'Water?'

Rae sighed, resting her head on the wall and shook her head.

'Rae, drink some please.' James insisted, forwarding her a glass of water.

Shakily, she held the glass and once again tried drinking, but she couldn't get herself to. But James had enough of her misery and held the glass and her back, helping her gulp. Having the cool water gush down her throat was better and relaxing, and she thanked him, wiping her tears. But soon they refilled and fell over her tracks.

James hated seeing her this way and as much as he wanted to comfort her, he didn't wanna cross any line. He placed his hand on her cold shivering one, grasping it and pressing it, softly. Rae took a deep breath, wiped her running nose through her sleeve again and looked at James.

And she quickly engulfed him in a hug.

James was dumbfounded, because her sweet scent was all over him, her thin figure buried in his chest, still sniffing. But when she held him a little more firm, James let go of his insecurities and thoughts and hugged the girl back.

She felt exactly like the thing he needed most all these years.

She felt like home.

And Rae found another one that night too.

_

A/N

Does this count as fluff? Or Angst? Or Flangst?

Idk.

Next update after the weekend. Monday IST.

What time zones are you'll in?

Would it matter if I say I'm an Indian?

Also, have a lovely weekend. And thank you for all the love and support. I don't think I deserve it but thank you.

All of you are good but some are just the best...

♥️