/Zianna/
I laid in my empty bed, rubbing the spot where James was supposed to be. He's 4 hours late- and I started to worry.
Work ends at 11:00 pm, it takes 15 minutes to get here- so why is he delayed by HOURS?
When your spouse it late getting home, your mind begins to race.
Is he hurt? Was he kidnapped? Did he stop somewhere? Still working? Cheating?
I thought of a thousand more excuses before hearing the front door open
I quickly shut my eyes, rolling over to my stomach and pretending I'd been asleep all this time. I really wanted to confront him- and maybe I should.
But maybe I shouldn't
Last time he came in late I tried confronting him, but he brushed me off with a simple "stop being an insecure little b*tch".
And I never did it again.
I heard his heavy footsteps walk into our bedroom, the sound of shoes being kicked off and a belt falling to the floor came next.
I felt tears stinging at my eyes as soon as he laid in the bed
I smelled the cheap perfume
"I know you're awake" James said
I didn't move nor talk.
"Worked late"
He got no response
"You know..." He started, pulling the covers off of me and seeing my pajamas, "It wouldn't kill you to wear something nice to bed. It could save our marriage"
I heard a dark chuckle and felt the bed move- which meant he was probably turning over to his side.
I fought hard to keep my tears in- I swore I wouldn't cry.
James and I had been married for 2 years- so how did it get this bad in such a short amount I time?
I'm 23- he's 26, and we have been together since I was 18 and a freshman in college.
He was so sweet, and funny. He treated me like a princess when our relationship was fresh.
His parents were wealthy, so he came from money. He would take me on these expensive trips and buy me all sorts of nice stuff- and I was so excited considering my family was the complete opposite of wealthy.
He also helped me start my business, which has grown to be a multimillion dollar establishment- though I made sure I was the CEO and owned all rights- I took no chances.
Though I appreciated all he did for me, I wanted simpler things sometimes.
A nice breakfast in bed- a random conversation at 1:00 in the morning, maybe even a walk in the park.
I wanted him to know I was in love with him and not his money- so when he asked me at 21 to marry him, I said yes.
Things went downhill 6 months after the wedding, fights started occurring more often and he would stay out more.
I swore I heard a woman in the background of many of our phone calls.
Though he would deny it, something told me he was cheating and I refused to let him touch me for a long while.
We've been to counseling, but it hasn't worked.
No one knows of our marital problems, and that's how I like it- no one in my business.
But it is a terrible feeling to have no one to vent to.
I know I should file for divorce, move away, and start fresh. I've tried- but he has a really good way of guilting me into coming back.
He'll say, "You're gonna leave me like everyone else?"
Or, "You're really gonna throw away our whole relationship over a false accusation you have?"
Or my personal favorite, "I MADE YOU! I GAVE YOU THIS HOUSE, THAT RING, AND YOUR LIVELIHOOD- HOW DARE YOU TRY TO LEAVE ME"
And I apologize- and he wins.
I can't go on like this
I need something new, a push, something to help me leave.
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Sorry for mistakes ❤️
