Lotto

15

March 28, 1978

Freya was beautiful. The sweet little newly three year old was the spitting image of her mother with big puppy dog brown eyes and crooked pouty lips and though her hair was blonde like Stevie, she had curls just like Lindsey. She was in preschool now, only for half the day eight to noon. Lindsey brought her and picked her up. Stevie and Freya were indifferent. She stuck to her word. Stevie loves her and she tells her she loves her every night, and she hugs her before bed but Lindsey is the primary parent. He's the one that takes her to the doctor, he's the one that picks her up and drops her off from school which in turn means she spends a majority of the time with Lindsey. He had fully embraced the stay at home dad role especially after his mom's heart attack and even more so afterwards than before,  but it was hard because every time Lindsey left her with Stevie, whether it was to run to the grocery store or to go paint a house on the weekend Freya wasn't having it. She'd scream the whole time and Stevie would give up. She'd try to love on her and she'd try to do things with her but Freya didn't want anything to do with her so she'd just leave her in the middle of her bedroom floor screaming until she stopped and either cried herself to sleep or angrily made her way down the stairs and crawled on the couch next to Stevie to watch cartoons.

And the spouses weren't doing that well either. The last time they had sex was when Freya was conceived. Four years of marriage, they've slept with each other three times...though Stevie only remembers two, the night of Freya's conception is completely blank. But they're civil with each other and they do kiss each other in the morning when they wake up and Lindsey brings Freya down for breakfast and before they go to bed. If Stevie's in a mood she'll be clingy with him but then that's about it. They don't do ANYTHING with each other. And Stevie wanted to change that. She had hemmed and hawed it for a while but walking into the door on a particularly hot day after school the house was silent until she heard Ginny barking. She turned her head and Ginny was at the back door clearly wanting in as she was panting and jumping on the door. And when Stevie opened it up the poor dog practically sprinted to the water bowl but then she heard them.

Lindsey had Freya in the pool and he was splashing around with her and their daughter was squealing in delight so Stevie slumped against the door frame and she watched. She just watched them playing in the pool and a lump formed in her throat. Just last week Stevie wanted to take her into the pool and Freya said no, she didn't want to go in the pool with Momma, she wanted to go into the pool with Daddy but Lindsey was cutting the grass. It hurt her heart. She wanted to have a relationship with Freya like Lindsey did. She carried her for nine long months, she would respond with a rub when she'd kick within her and after all the pain that her doctor put her through when she gave birth she felt like she was owed a relationship with that little girl. But that's not how that worked and Stevie knew that. if she had wanted to have a relationship with Freya she needed to work on it from when she was a newborn and Stevie really didn't and now she was paying for it and she hated it. The tears flowed freely as she wiped her eyes and then Lindsey spotted her and she quickly tried to stop the tears and wipe her eyes. He knowing his wife was in pain gave her a look but she shook her head and all he did was nod and collect Freya out of the water. Stevie stepped onto the porch and picked up the little pink and purple striped beach towel and held her arms out for the toddler.

Freya didn't fight when she was placed in Stevie's arms and Stevie kissed her daughter's sopping temple and then she turned to Lindsey who was drying himself off.

"Hmm?" He asked bringing the towel up to wipe his face.

When he removed the towel Stevie was right there and she got on her tip toes and with the arm that wasn't supporting Freya she wrapped it around his shoulder and kissed him but she didn't pull away she just held him to her for a minute.