The Death Cure Rewrite

Part 7

I waited on the rooftop late at night unable to sleep since I knew what was happening at this very moment. Thomas would be inside the walls by now talking to Teresa, but he and Gally would bring her back here. I wasn't sure if I was ready to see her face. She had left us all in the hands of Wicked. She was a traitor, but somehow Thomas still wanted her. I wondered if she regretted it, what she did to us.

Minho was probably being tortured right now for that enzyme, but she didn't care. What did her friend matter in the face of so many others? Newt was right. No matter the cost, I would get Minho free, but I would save us as well.

I sat down, leaning against the step up to the ledge of the rooftop, and brought my knees to my chest as I toyed with my fingers. There were still no stars in the sky and I was surprised to realize that I would rather be out there in the Scorch instead of inside the Last City with all its technology. Even if we managed to get rid of Wicked, I preferred the simple life of just living with a group of people who knew how to take care of themselves. It had taken me a while to get used to sleeping in a bed again after so many times in a hammock or on the ground.

If I made it out of here alive and with a cure, that's where I'd go. Maybe not the Scorch, but to the Safe Haven. I'd rather be there even if it meant leaving Thomas. He could stay here with her anyway. What did I care?

I sighed and pulled out one of my knives, using it to begin carving my name into the concrete of the roof. After another hour of complete and total blissful silence by myself, the door opened. Thomas walked through, and I didn't stop carving (though it was mostly done), just wishing he'd turn around and walk away. Instead he sat down right next to me, his hand tapping nervously at his knee. I was fine with letting him stew in his anxiety, so I kept silent, continuing to dig out my name into the concrete.

"Uh... Teresa is downstairs. Not conscious, though."

"Great." My voice was soft, and I meant the word, but I just didn't feel like talking to him right now. I was sure he could understand why. I wasn't angry with him, just a little hurt. My bruised ego would heal eventually and maybe I could find someone to fall in love with who could love me back. At least with Teresa here, I could finally focus on starting the plan to get Minho free.

Thomas fidgeted awkwardly, and I could tell he was watching my knife carefully. Smart man. "I don't."

"No?" I hummed, slightly uncaring of his words, whatever they meant.

"No. I think I did... Love her, I mean. But I loved you, too."

I sighed, holstering my knife since I was well past finished with my name, but I still didn't look at him. "You're saying you loved both of us."

"Yeah." He seemed relieved that I understood, and he became more animated, speaking with his hands. "I looked at her. I mean really looked at her, you know. In her eyes, and... I felt nothing. I don't love her, Y/N. And even when I did, I don't think it was in the way that I loved you."

I shrugged, rolling my eyes as I chewed on my lip. "So what?"

He turned slightly towards me as if desperate to make me look at him. "I'm trying to tell you that I love you. I have since I first saw you in that box and I think I knew it before the Maze, too. I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner because I know I hurt you."

My throat thickened and I swallowed, blinking rapidly to hopefully keep the tears at bay. I couldn't do this with him. Not right now. "Okay, then." I practically ran from my seated position, just trying to make it back to everyone else before he could keep me alone for another second. He called after me sadly, but I kept a steady speed walk to the door.