The Crown or The Duke ~A Demus story~ {Haitus}

Confessions

TW: Nightmare, blood mention, uncensored cursing, Remus being Remus, abuse mentioned, self-doubt, a straight person attempting gay panic
(I'm straight from what I know)

Thinking looks like this

~Janus' POV~

I was scared out of my mind. I don't know where I am and who's voice was speaking, even though I couldn't make out what they were saying. Everything was covered in blood. The walls, the decorations, my hands, everything. I was shaking uncontrollably and I was crying. It felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. My hands were so shaky I thought that the candle I was carrying would come flying out of my hands and set me on fire.

"Oh? What's this? Snake-face is scared? How pathetic." I tried to blink away my tears, but they were replaced as soon as I rid of them.

"L-Leave me alone!" I stutter out, not caring to keep the tough, nothing-gets-to-me act up. I suddenly feel chains around my wrists and ankles, pulling me to the ground. The candle landed in a puddle of who knows what. Was it blood, water, or something else? I see a mysterious figure emerge from the darkness. I couldn't see what they looked like because their features were covered by a long, dark cloak. All I know is that they had intentions to hurt me. I heard a dagger or sword being pulled from its sheath. I looked up to see the figure raise the dagger and then the dagger begging to plunge into my chest.

I jolted straight up in bed. I felt all of the cold sweat drip down my body. I got out of bed, not caring that my legs were shaking like crazy and that I couldn't breathe. I wanted Remus and only Remus. I stumbled my way over to his room and knocked. I held my hands close to my chest, hoping it would calm me down, even though it did nothing.

Remus opened his door, rubbing his eyes.

"What is it...Jan...us? Are you ok? Come here." He held me to him, my head resting on his chest, allowing me to listen to his steady heartbeat. I could still feel my heart beating out my chest.

"R-Remus h-help. I-I c-ca-n't b-re-reathe-" I began to panic even more, which didn't help me in the slightest. Remus then noticed the condition I was in and became extremely worried.

"Janus. I need you to focus on breathing. I'll help you, ok?" He did a few breathing exercises with me to calm me down, which worked wonders. He picked me up and carried me to his bed, making sure to close his door behind us. He laid down on his bed, with me next to him. He was on his back and I was on my side. I shifted closer and rest my head on his chest again so I could listen to his heartbeat. It was soothing to me somehow.

"Janus? You don't have to tell me or go into detail, but what caused you to go into that state?" A shiver went down my spine and Remus covered us with his fluffy blankets. I snuggled into him, grabbing a fistful of the fluffy blanket.

"J-Just a nightmare. A terrifying one." I felt Remus wrap his arm around me, his hand going to my hair, just sitting there.

"I can tell. I can feel how tense you are still. Plus how shaky you were when I opened the door..." Remus trailed off, but he seemed hurt somehow.

"Hey, Janus? Can...can I run my hand through your hair? Can I also call you Jan?" I nodded.

"To both." I hiss in content as I feel Remus gently run his hand through my hair. Remus smiled a little.