letters

letter 10

Everything has changed. Caleb got this girlfriend that everyone hates. A couple of my ex's came back and I'm talking to a new guy. Makayla is still at the house. And I'm progressively ending up in the place I fought so hard to get out of...again. Softball season started so I get to watch Catie play. I would get to see Addison play too, but she broke her wrist. I walked into the store across the street from school. Tori greeted me with a smile. I gave her a fake one. She wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyways. I got something to eat and sat with Tori. I kept checking my phone, waiting on Catie to get there. Tori was talking to some of her other friends that sat with us. Catie finally walked in. Her face lit up and so did mine. She held her arms out and I got up to hug her. Her hugs mean a lot to me. They always make me feel better. "I thought Addison was gonna come?" I ask. "She'll be here in a little bit." Catie says. Catie got some food and we sat together while we waited for Addison to get here. About 10 minutes go by and Addison walks in. She got a Heath bar and some food and sat with us. In a matter of seconds we were all laughing with each other. We talked about Caleb and his new girlfriend. We checked the time, the softball game was getting close to starting. We walked back to the school and went in without paying. We talked to Catie's dad for a while. And watched the other girls play. "I should be out there." Addison says. "You would be if you weren't crippled." Catie says and laughs. It began to get time for Catie to start playing. Once her game had started Addison and I watched her hit. I got it on video. I'm very proud of her, even if she isn't proud of herself. Then Addison and I saw Caleb and his girlfriend. "There she is." Addison says to me. Caleb and his girlfriend walk over to us. "Hey Christina, hey Addison." Kimberly, Caleb's girlfriend says to us. "Hi." We both reply. Kimberly walks off to go handle a situation with her siblings. Addison begins talking to Caleb. Telling him he has no respect for his sisters. I added that he's been a complete asshole lately. "Everyone has changed." Caleb says. "Everyone has changed, but you've changed for the worst." I say. The longer I stand and argue with Caleb the more frustrated I get. He clearly doesn't understand that he's losing good friendships. Just because he's "in love" with some girl. Addison goes to call her mom to come and get her. She's fed up with Caleb and Kimberly too. "I'm sorry, I never wanted it to be like this." Kimberly says to me. I couldn't bring myself to look at her in the face. Partially because I felt like I'd try to kill her if I looked at her. I did say anything. I just nodded my head and looked at the ground. I wanted to go home. But, I promised Catie I'd stay for her game. I got to see Catie hit another time and soon after the game was over. I left before Catie got to tell me bye. I was way to upset and I didn't want her to see me like that. Leray by Trippie played through my headphones. I kept replaying all the things of Kimberly and Caleb in my head. It didn't make sense, it didn't add up. And for a lot of people, it didn't add up either. But I think the reason I'm so upset by it all was probably the thing I had for Caleb.

I loved him first Kimberly. I loved him first.