Oc Reviews! (Closed For Now)

Nemii Gardener

Hello there my little rodents! Firstly I would like to thank Strx_Berri_Milk for letting me review their character! Secondly, thank you, reader, for clicking on my book, I really hope you appreciate it and keep on reading my chapters to come! <3

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Name: Nemii Gardener

Fandom: Original story

This is fine.

Nickname: Lemon girl (Ms. Matcha calls her this because of her lemon hat)

This is cute.

Age: 12 

Species: Witch in training

I loveee witches and magic in the fictional sense, not trying to make it seem like I fetishize Witches and their religion. I also like how she is younger.

Gender: Cis female

Ethnicity: Canadian

Sexuality: Questioning (she's still figuring herself out)

Relationship status: Single

Everything is fine here.

Personality: Nemii is an extremely vibrant young girl. She has a lot of energy and is always eager to learn new things. She is very curious and is constantly asking questions about the world to those around her, and this curiosity fuels her adventurousness and love for exploring. Since she's young and hasn't experienced a lot about the world, she can be extremely naive about certain things and has the tendency to be a little too curious for her own good. But she's still a very upbeat girl who takes every hit life gives her with a smile. 

I really like her personality, it does sound a little cliche but there is a reason that it is a cliche and it's because it works and people love to see characters like this!

Hobbies: Gardening, baking, practicing magic, stargazing, adventuring.

Likes: Stars, yellow, gardens, trees and plants, exploring, learning new things, butterflies, pretty magic, wands, collecting things, nature, lemon pie, tea, thick textbooks, chess. 

Dislikes: Being told to stay out of something, being locked inside, heights, blood/bleeding, harmful spells, being tricked, greedy people, corrupt businessmen, developers, boredom, the word no.

I really like these Likes/Dislikes, they seem like something a 12-Year would have, but I would just explain why she has these Hobbies, Likes, and Dislikes.

Powers: As a witch in training, Nemii can do most simple spells. Like all witches, she has a specialized type of magic. Her's is star magic. She can manipulate energy from the start but definitely can't control it yet. 

I like that she isn't a young witch who can do really powerful spells, it makes sense that she would only be able to do simple spells as she is young and in training.

Weaknesses: Nemii can't control her star powers yet, and still can't master her final move. She's also quite naive and too curious, and she has terrible balance and is highly clumsy, tripping and falling constantly. Due to her adventurousness, she also gets injured very easily. 

I like these weaknesses, it gives her flaws that she can learn from. I would just make sure to add some strengths that she has so that she doesn't sound completely weak.

Friends: Ms. Matcha, Ms. Chai, and Ms. Vanilla (the senior witches that live up the road) 

Enemies: Mr. O' Connor (developer who wants to tear down the witches house), Kayla and Lizzie (two girls who are mean to her)

I love how the senior witches are named after drinks like that is so cute. Also her enemies are fine.

Fears: Losing the witches, losing their house, losing her magic, being lonely.

Aspirations: Become a full-fledged witch, make friends, save the witches' house from being torn down. 

Nothing wrong here.

Looks: Nemii is a very petite girl who is about 4,8 and very skinny. She has fluffy-curly light brown curls, a face full of freckles, and very big, pale blue eyes. She is never seen without her lemon hat, and she usually wears pale jean overalls too. 

Weapon: Nemii wields a wooden wand carved with butterfly and star designs. 

I think this is incredibly cute.

Physical/mental illness?: None 

Family: Sonya and Victor Gardener. Nemii's parents are constantly busy and never pay attention to her, which makes her feel very lonely. Though they spoil her often, all she really wants is their love. 

This is pretty good, I would just add a little more about them like are they magic users like her? If not, how do they feel about her magic and the school? If so, have they been to this school?

Backstory: Nemii was always a very lonely child. The other kids excluded her from their games because she was 'weird', making her very sad. Though she was always out adventuring, she grew lonely over the years because she had nobody to play with. One day she was crying beside a cliff when a woman named Ms. Matcha approached her to help her out. She invited Nemii back to her cottage, and it was soon revealed that Ms. Matcha and her wives were witches, and they offered to teach her. However, the people in the city disliked them due to their witchcraft and made a plot to get rid of them by destroying their house to make way for condos. And it's up to Nemii and her witch friends to stop them!

I like this backstory, but like I stated before, I would just add a little more, like do her parents know she is there and things like that?

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Thank you Strx_Berri_Milk so much for letting me review your character. I think that she is really interesting and I like her a lot! I think that there are some things you could add about her parents but other than that she is great. And, thank you guys, the readers, so so much for reading my book! Subscribe to my profile for more updates on the chapter and other books, vote for this chapter if you really liked it and if you want, go ahead and drop your on OC in the "Form" chapter, which is the very first one. I will do what I can to review your OC and give you as much honest advice as possible. That's that Space Cats <3