Pulled together (JiraiyaXOc)

Loss

I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off quickly.
I clenched my fist so tightly that I could feel my nails breaking skin.

I would not cry in front of anyone.
But I needed to escape. Quickly.

..But yet.

I couldn't move.

I stared straight ahead. Out the window. I couldn't feel anything.

I felt someone's hand brush against my cheek. They were wiping away a tear that had escaped. I took a deep breath and was snapped out of my trance.

Jiraiya stood in front of me; his hand still on my cheek, "Misa."

I grabbed his hand and made sure he didn't move it. My voice was barely a whisper, "Take me home? Please?"

He nodded his head and I moved to wrap around his arm. No one bothered to stop us. I knew I'd hear about it later; but right now I didn't care.

Jiraiya walked me home silently. Which was much needed. Everything was a blur around me anyways. He walked me inside and sat me down on the edge of my bed.

"Misa? Are you okay?"

I looked at his face.

"Am I okay?"

Oh no.

I felt it. I hadn't dealt with an anxiety attack in quite some time.

But Asuma.

I'd never see him again.

I clutched at my chest and the tears began to fall as I gasped for air.

Jiraiya placed his hands on my face, "Misa look at me. You need to calm down. Breathe."

"Asuma's gone. My best friend is gone."

"Misa please. Breathe shorty."

It took me a minute before I caught my breathe but a loud sob escaped quickly after, "He's gone Jiraiya! He's gone!"

Jiraiya pulled me into his arms and I clutched onto him like my life depended on it. He didn't say another word; he just let me cry in his arms for as long as I needed.

~*~

When my sobs died down to silent tears; he laid on my bed and pulled me into his arms. I laid my head on his chest and he began to play with my hair.

"Are you hungry?"

I shook my head.

"Then get some rest. I'll still be here when you wake up."

"Promise?," my voice was hoarse from crying for so long.

"I promise."

I could feel my eyelids getting heavy. Tomorrow I'd need to find Shikamaru. But tonight; I was gonna let myself wallow in my sadness.

~Dream sequence engaged~

~Age: 7~

I hid behind a tree listening to my brother run by, "Misa! Where are you!?"

I snickered quietly. We may be twins but Tenzo had the tendency to act like my big brother. He could be a bit overbearing at times.

"Hey. What are you doing?"

I was startled by the voice in front of me.

A boy a little older than me stood in front of me. He looked familiar but I couldn't quite place him.

"Nothing?," I smiled the most convincing smile I could.

He definitely wasn't buying it.

Subject change time, "I'm Misaki! Nice to meet you!"

"Hm, I'm Asuma."

I heard Tenzo nearing again.

I was not ready to be scolded.

I grabbed Asuma's hand, "Hide with me?"

He narrowed his eyes at me but then shrugged, "Only because I'm bored."

I smiled, "Follow me."

~Asuma's return to the village~

"Misa. Come down already," Kakashi stood under the tree limb I was lounging on.

I rolled my eyes, "Make me Hatake."

I could hear him sigh and start mumbling something.

I was being stubborn honestly. Kakashi wasn't as eager as Asuma was; but I hadn't seen Asuma in years.

I needed my partner in crime back.

I sighed and leaned my head back against the tree. I closed my eyes, "I miss that idiot."

The smell of cigarette smoke quickly invaded my nostrils. My eyes shot open and I looked down at Kakashi. He was talking to someone. Their hair was covering their face; so I couldn't tell who it was from here.

I jumped down behind them, "Who's this Hatake?"

An all too familiar voice spoke, "Wow. You don't even recognize your best friend? I'm hurt Misa."

Asuma turned around and opened his arms.

Even though my heart fluttered.

I walked up to him and punched him in the face.

Kakashi looked between us and scratched his head, "I think I'll let you two have some alone time."

He disappeared and Asuma leaned on one of his hands and used the other to rub his cheek, "What was that for!?"

I stomped my foot and pointed at him, "You son of a bitch! How dare you leave me here alone for so long! Do you know how much I missed you idiot!?"

Asuma chuckled, "Just as much as I missed you."

I sighed and ran over to him. I threw myself on top of him and hugged his neck, "I'm glad your back. Now never leave me like that again."

He wrapped his arms around my waist, "I won't."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

~*~

I woke up still wrapped in Jiraiya's arms. Tears were steadily pouring from my eyes.

I looked up at the ceiling and whispered, "You idiot. You promised."