Dear Elle,

23. When your world turns upside down.

Noah POV

Safe to say the week's after the wedding, things got worse.

Not a little worse.

A lot worse.

Honestly, I was glad that I had given Lee a little insight into how things were going, but I had only given him a brief insight. Things weren't great at work. My boss was being the biggest dick and suddenly everything was my fault or my problem. I had been debating changing companies for a while and had even been poached. Seems word had gotten back to my boss that I was considering jumping ship.

Funny. Everything fell through and I was still stuck there trying not to punch the shit out of my office wall every single day.

I pulled up in our driveway and turned off the car. I buried my head in my hands as I tried to wake myself up. It was after nine and I was hoping that Nate would be asleep, so I could crawl onto the couch and pass out.

I loved him more than anything but he had been an absolute terror these past couple of weeks. It seemed he had lost all 'baby' and become a toddler who hardly slept, just wanted his Mum, cried all the time and had learnt the word 'No'.

So, given Elle was dealing with Nate and I was dealing with work and I was coming home to a wife that was exhausted, trapped and in desperate needed a break....things were tense.

There had been a lot of arguments. A lot of me sleeping on the couch and a lot of Elle just pretending that I didn't exist.

I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair and grabbed my stuff. I got out of the car and headed up the pathway to the house. It was pretty quiet. The lights were off upstairs and in the front part of the house as I walked in. I dropped my bags by the door and pulled off my jacket.

I could hear the water running in the kitchen and the soft clanking of dishes. Elle was still awake and if she was still cleaning up at this time – it meant Nate had given her grief. I sighed as I walked past the living room and noticed the toys, the clothes and the laundry baskets.

Yep. This was going to be fun. And it was all my fault. I really needed to sort my shit out.

I walked into the kitchen and braced myself. Elle had her back to me as she stood at sink. Her hair was in a messy bun, she was in sweats and her shoulders were hunched over.

'Hey'

'Hey', she replied. She didn't turn, she just kept washing and stacking. It wa quiet for a few minutes, before she turned the water off and grabbed the towel to dry her hands. When she finally turned around I saw just how tired she looked.

'Are you hungry?', she asked as she grabbed a few things and put them in the pantry. I shook my head.

'How was Nate today?', I asked, already knowing the answer. She was quiet as she began prepping some of his bottles.

'Same. No better. No worse. Got nothing done'

'That's okay'

'For you', she shot back as she pressed the last lid on the bottle. 'It's been a long day. I'm going to bed'.

I grabbed her arm as she walked her past me, 'Elle....'

She wriggled her way out as she kept on walking.

'Elle', I said forcefully keeping my voice low to not wake Nate. 'Elle. Stop'

I watched as she stopped at the foot of the stairs, facing me. 'What?'

'I get it okay. I get it. Nate isn't being easy at the moment and your stuck inside and you feel like you get nothing done. But it's okay. It's okay if the house is a shithole and you both stay in your pyjama's all day....'

'Whatever Noah. You have no idea what I go through each day. What I gave up, what I miss', Elle fired back as she let go of the bannister and walked back towards me. 'For the past few weeks all you do is work. When your home, your on your phone. I ask you to watch Nate and the way you watch him is he plays with his toys while you play with your phone. I don't know what the hell is going on with you....'

'Okay, here we go...', I threw my hands up in the air. Shut up Noah. Don't make it worse.

'I say something – you have a problem. I don't say anything – you have problem. Whatever Noah, seriously. If all we are going to do is just fight, then what's the point in this?', she said exasperated.

The house was quiet as we both just looked at each other.

Where had Elle and Noah gone? What was happening between us?

Nate cries broke through the silence as he called out for his Mum. Elle sighed as she wiped her eyes and turned her back towards me before walking to the foot of the stairs.

'Do you love me?', I asked. I'm afraid of the answer.

Nate cries echoed through the house as he waited for his Mum, while I waited for my answer. 'Not right now' and with that I watched her walk up the stairs. I stood rooted to the floor as I heard Nate's nursery door open and close and his cries slowly start to ease.

I batted away the wetness from my eyes, grabbing my things and walking out the front door.

Fuck this.

Days later....

Lee POV

I rubbed my eyes to try and take away the stinging pain of staring too long at a screen. Rachel and I had only just gotten back from our honeymoon and there were things that needed to be caught up on especially when deadlines were approaching. The clock had just ticked over midnight and I was happy with the progress I had made on the newest game that our company was planning on releasing in the next couple of months. While I was gone, they had tested it and there were adjustments that needed to be made based on the feedback they got.

I saved the newest updates and shut down the screens as I peeled myself away from the chair and headed out of the study. I loved my job, but I think I may need glasses. My eyes were not used to staring at a screen for as long as they did.

Rachel was already asleep as I entered the bedroom. I quickly changed, throwing my clothes in the hamper and climbed into bed.

I felt like I had just closed my eyes when I heard a car pull up and a door slam. I buried myself under the covers, the neighbours must have just gotten home.

'Who the hell.....', I groaned as I sat up, as a banging echoed throughout the house. Rachel stirred beside me and quickly sat up as the banging got louder.

'Lee? What's going on?', she said. Her voice was thick with sleep, but I could hear the concern. I got up pulling on my hoodie as I headed towards the window and looked out.

'What is he doing here?' I mumbled, 'It's okay Rach. Go to sleep. It's Noah'

'Noah! Lee it's after midnight...', she started as she moved to follow me downstairs. We both tumbled down the stairs as the banging continued.

I had grabbed my phone. No missed phone calls or messages from either of them.

What had happened?

Rachel followed me pulling on her robe, as I wrenched open the front door.

'Noah, what the hell are you doing here?', I took in my brothers form on my doorstep, but it wasn't until Rachel flicked on the lights did I really see what he looked like.

Smelling like alcohol, red eyes and his suit crumpled. I hadn't seen this Noah in a very long time.

'Noah...', I urged almost scared for what I was about to hear. His red and bloodshot eyes met mine and my stomach clenched as I processed his word.

'Lee, I fucked up. Like really fucked up' as he crossed the threshold and collapsed into my arms.

I looked towards Rach and her scared expression matched mine.

What did he do? And given how he was shaking, how were we going to fix it?