Dear Elle,

3. When it all gets too much.

Dear Elle,
I told your Dad to send this to you in some way shape or form, when he felt like things were getting a little too much. I have no doubt that you will be flourishing at College, but I also know the pressures of trying to keep up when you have a million other things going on - love, work, assignments.
At times it feels like it's never ending and some days you feel like you are doing just enough by keeping your head above water.
Elle, I've had those days. Days where I would walk around Berkeley - exhausted from my shift at work, struggling with assignments. I hadn't seen June for days on end (even though we lived in the same building). My eyes were heavy all the time - I looked like hell and all I wanted to do was cry. There is tired and then there is exhaustion. I know it's hard, honey but it will get better. It won't be like this forever, and it may sound stupid - but its all part of the experience.
In life you face different versions of tired, the younger you are the better you are able to cope with them. I thought I was tired when I was at College, but nothing compared to the tired I felt when I became a Mum! I loved you and Brad....but god, did I miss my uninterrupted sleep.
Call your dad or June, call Lee or even call Noah. Don't bottle in how you are feeling, even if you can only talk for a few minutes, it will refresh you.
You know your family is there to support you and we are again so proud of you for what you have achieved so far. I know it's hard to think right now, but these days will pass.
I promise you, you will look back on these days and wonder 'How did I get through it?'. You just have to keep going and you will.
I have no doubt.
More than anything, I wish I could hug you right now, but I'm sure someone else who loves you just as much, is already there doing that.
Keep going, Elle.
All my love, always,
Mum.

Elle POV

Those who said getting into Harvard would be easy, were right. Getting into Harvard was easy. Being a student of Harvard was hard.

Really hard.

I don't know where the last three years went, but apparently they flew by. I have images on my camera, photos on my phone and even some that I managed to print off and stick in frames so they could line the walls of our apartment.

Do I remember doing it?

No.

But I did it at some point in between assignments, work, spending time with Noah, soccer practice and soccer games. Throw in holidays, vacations and weekend trips to see the people we loved the most - no wonder I looked older than I was. I'm surprised I didn't have grey hair. I did however have a lovely set of black bags under my eyes that never really went away no matter how much sleep I got.

I'm not being ungrateful. The experience of being here and being with Noah, will always stay with me but I'm not going to deny that it's hard and there have been times - as recently as yesterday, that I just wanted to pack my bags and head home. I missed my family. I missed Lee.

I even missed Noah.

Harvard was hectic. I was unsure when we first got the apartment that this would either make or break us. I spent time with Noah, yes. But living together with Noah opened up a whole new world and part of me was worried at the time that he would get sick of me - seeing and being around me all the time.

Again, three years later I'm forever grateful to the man that got us our haven because I'm convinced if he didn't walk through that door every night, I probably would never see him.

Me being in my third year and Noah being in his fourth, things started to pick up with our degrees. Noah and I were both on placement for our respective courses which meant that we not only had to juggle school and work but extra work on top of that. We needed to ace placement as we were both hoping to gain job opportunities in the near future. I was working at Boston Children's Hospital and I loved it, while Noah couldn't get enough of the systems engineering company he was working for.