Loki x reader ( slow burn)

Frigga

A/n: I've decided to follow timeline order, starting from Ragnarok but I will be changing a few details. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Warning: medication,OCD, eating disorders.
-
"Loki, you have to sit up."
He reluctantly sat up, leaning his forehead on your shoulder. You took off his shirt to reveal the bandages that covered his burns. You slowly unwrapped them, with Loki gripping your thigh and gritting his teeth in pain.
"I know it hurts, but it wont for long." You fully unwrapped the bandages, the burn cream got the swelling and the redness down but his skin was still raw.

You took a deep breath, filling your lungs their capacity, and concentrated his burns. Slowly his skin turned to its usual porcelain colour. Once his skin was back to normal you sighed and immediately felt light-headed.
"Ok now your calf."
"No, I can do that one myself. You're clearly exhausted."
"I'm fine, your calf wont take up that much energy because of the stitching."

You stood up to move to his calf but everything went black.
"Y/n, y/n."
"Loki? What happened?"
"You fainted, only for like 10 seconds though."
"Oh ok."

You stood up and took a look at his calf.
"You're not seriously ignoring that you're tired and just fainted. I can do my leg, come sit down."
You flicked your wrist and he fell back onto the bed and you healed his calf. He looked at you with a smirk across his face and shook his head.
"You are never going to listen to me are you?"

"Not unless it was important."
"Right."
You sat next to him cuddled into his chest, taking deep breaths and closing your eyes. He stroked your back and pressed a kiss to your temple. You felt warm all over, just enjoying his company. You let yourself breathe in his scent and think back to all the time you two have spent together, all the memories. You took your phone out of your pocket and selected the photos you and Loki took and sent them to the printer in your room. You then put on Plastic Hearts by Miley Cyrus.

You nodded your head to the beat before standing up on the bed and singing along.
"I'm in California dreaming, plastic hearts are bleeding. Keep me up all night, keep me up all night."
You started dancing and jumping on the bed.
"I guess you weren't that tired."
"No I'm exhausted but I love this song. Wanna join me?"

"No thank you, I'm just enjoying the view." He laughed at your silly dance moves. You didn't know it but it was at that point when Loki realised he would always sacrifice everything and anything for you. He didn't think it was possible but he fell even more in love with you.

There was a knock at the door so you paused the music and jumped off the bed the open the door. You found Thor on the other side of the door with a very grim expression on his face.
"Thor what is it?"
"May I come in?"
"Yeah of course."

He entered and sat on the end of Loki's bed. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it immediately. Loki's face dropped as he stood up and put his shirt on. A tear fell down both of their faces almost at the same time.
"Y/n, could you leave us please."
"What's going on?"
"Just leave." Loki shouted at you with pain in his voice. You stumbled back and nodded. You left as a silent tear made its way to your chin.

What ever it was, it really set both of them off, and Loki knew what had happened instantly. You took a deep breath and concentrated on reading Thor's thoughts.
'She's really gone this time. Mother if you can hear me, I love you. Rest in Valhalla.'
You felt something pull in your stomach as you sunk to your knees, trying to cover your sobs, your hand covered your mouth.

You sat with your back against the wall opposite Loki's door which happened to be your own. You took slow, deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down. Frigga was dead, one of the only people who united Thor and Loki is dead. One of the only people that can reason with Odin, is dead. One of the only people who spoke smoother than a fairy, is dead, one of the only people who is equally matched in beauty, knowledge and strength, is dead. One of the only people who ever really loved Loki, is gone and always will be.

Stop being selfish, you barely knew her. You should be comforting Loki and Thor, they are the ones who lost their mother. Sometimes you can be so annoying. I bet if you hit the wall till you break your hand, she will come back. Do it.

Your hand reacted before you did, whacking itself against the wall. You winced but you had a good feeling in your stomach. You turned around and took at punch at the wall, cracking something in structure. Your hand got red instantly but it wasn't broken. You landed another punch, this time making a hole in the wall. You heard a door open but you didn't care. You were just one more punch away from breaking you hand, you could get Frigga back.

You went to take another punch but you felt someone's arms around your stomach, dragging you back. You elbowed them and tried to take another punch. Loki caught your hand and his puffy, red eyes met your stinging, crying ones.
"Y/n, stop."
"I need to get her back. Just one more hit. Please let me do it."

"Think rationally, she isn't coming back, breaking your hand isn't going to change that."
"I can try at least please." You screamed at him.
"She isn't coming back." He whispered, barely audible.

You fell back into him, sobbing into his chest.
"I wanted to try, for you."
"Don't, please." He held his hand over yours and all the pain was gone.

-

You sat on the hospital bed, twisting your ring around your finger.
"I want her to take anti-psychosis and anti-depressants."
"She's not taking them, she's not psychotic or depressed."
"How do you explain what she did then?"
"OCD and mourning. You told her that her OCD was serious and now you're saying she is crazy."
"Loki, I know its a lot to hear, but needs must."
"Why don't we ask y/n what she wants then?"

You snapped out of your daze at the mention of your name.
"I'd like to see if I can go a little longer without them."

-
"Just lay down, i'll be gone for a bit." Loki placed a kiss on your forehead and swiftly left the room.
He was gone for two days, you didn't get out of bed and Thor brought you food, encouraging you to have at least a bit of each thing. Which you did and a little more, but you couldn't manage anymore.

"Y/n, darling. Are you okay?"
"Where were you, you were gone for two days without even a proper goodbye or telling me where you went. Don't scare me like that."
"I'm sorry, I just had to take care of something on Asgard. And you know time works differently there."
You yanked his hand and hugged him, never wanting to let go.

-
The next couple of days were just laying in bed doing nothing in particular, only eating a third of your meals and barely talking to anyone. Bruce forced you onto medication that didn't really help.
Loki sat reading to you while stared off into space, his silky voice being the only thing keeping conscious.
"Loki, where is Father?" Thor said bursting into the room.
"Your father, is in Asgard as far as I'm aware."
"You know for well he is not."

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. You will never know."

Thor dragged Loki out of the room, you stood up and followed them. Loki rolled his eyes at something Thor had  said and placed a hand on his shoulder before holding your hand. He teleported to outside an old people's home that was being demolished, changing your clothes to leggings and a t-shirt and himself into a fitting black suit.

"I swear I left him right here."