FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN

A dinner and broken foot

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Rumi

Neel slowly opened his eyes. He stretched and snuggled back into the others. The bed seemed more comfortable than usual today. And it smelt nicer too. It smelt of jasmine and Manjari. With a start, Neel sat up. The events of the last night came rushing to him. He was not in his house but Manjari's. He checked the time on his watch. It was almost 10 a.m. Perfect, he thought sarcastically. She would now think that I am lazy too.

He got off the bed and opened the door to his bedroom. There was pin-drop silence in the house. Maybe she was also asleep, thought Neel. He came to the living room and the smell of freshly cooked poha assaulted his senses. He entered the kitchen but there was no one there. He was about to leave when a note stuck to the kitchen door caught his eyes. It said:

Poha in the microwave, chai in the kettle. Already had breakfast. Going for a walk.

He was touched by her gesture. Even after all that had happened between them, she had thought of him. He went back to his bedroom and entered the en-suite bathroom. After taking care of his morning routine, he took a shower. He noticed that the entire house was spic and span. No dirt in sight. Not a thing out of place. He remembered that Manjari's department used to call her borderline OCD because of her fetishes for order! He, on the other hand, was a master of chaos. He preferred to call it orderliness in disorderliness and decided to clean his bedroom before having breakfast. Better to leave a god impression if he was going to be shown the door in the morning...

He had just finished breakfast and was doing the dishes when Manjari walked in. She entered the kitchen and was surprised to see Neel in the kitchen doing dishes. She nodded at him, grabbed a glass of water, and went inside her bedroom, closing the door firmly behind her.

One word. Awkward. This was awkward.

The weekend went by with both Manjari and Neel holed up in their rooms. They both stayed out of each other's way. Neel spent almost all his Sunday in the library and Manjari explored Yale.

Both were grateful when Monday rolled by. Manjari was an early riser. She was having her tea and breakfast when Neel woke up. He greeted her and straightway went for a shower. He observed himself in the mirror while brushing his teeth. He needed to shave. Maybe today evening, after he came back from the library. He got dressed and came out to find Manjari ready to leave.

Before he even knew what, he was doing, he heard himself say, "We could go together. I mean, we are going in the same direction..."

Manjari's hand was at the doorknob when she heard Neel talk about going together. She shuffled from one foot to another. Go together? Why? Before she could frame words to politely decline, her mouth uttered a vehement "NO, thanks."

Neel's face fell even though he had known that the odds were stacked against him. Manjari looked at his crestfallen face and cursed herself for being rude . Again. She bit her lips and taking cleared her throat to get his attention. He looked at her, hurt clearly visible on his face. Manjari took a deep breath and said, "Let's leave quickly then...I do not wish to be late...."

Neel's face broke out in a smile. "Just give me a minute. Let me grab my laptop", he said and hurried to grab his stuff before she changed her mind.

"Breakfast?", she enquired.

"I will have it in the cafeteria".

He came back carrying his laptop. He waited for Manjari to lock the front door and they began to walk down to the office. Neel cleared his throat. There was something he wanted to speak to her about but did not know where to start the conversation from. He was still figuring it out when they came to their office. Manjari wished him a good day and rushed off to her office. She had to take a class for Intermediate students and then she had a class to attend on literary theory. She would get free at 8 p.m. today. Long day. She groaned, squared her shoulders, and got to work. She loved teaching and her Intermediate students were goofballs and smart students at the same time. She took printouts of worksheets she wanted them to do along with the printout of their readings for next week. She made herself a cup of coffee and opened her copy of The Age of Mechanical Reproduction. She had to read it for today's class, but she had not even started. She spent the next two hours studying. Then it was time for her class with Intermediate students. She skipped lunch as she wanted to catch up on her reading and instead filled her stomach with caffeine. By the time, it was time for class, she was satisfied with her reading. She liked her literary theory class. Today the class discussion focused a lot on how the mechanical reproduction of art objects by the late 19th-early 20th century Europe initiated a shift in understanding and perception of art. This coincided with an understanding of history as primarily advanced by the forces of production (in this case mechanical reproduction as well as technologies like the camera), how it initiates changes in cultural forms (such as the birth of photography and cinema), and how these cultural forms in the superstructure effect changes in people to change the way a society's mode of production is configured (this is Benjamin's hypothesis on photography and film's potential for emancipatory politics to advance society to a higher stage than capitalism). By the end of the class, Manjari was mentally exhilarated and physically exhausted. She came out of her class and was surprised to see Neel waiting for her.