▲ Emotional Dependency ▲

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Emotional dependence is a psychological state that takes place in personal relationships, be it with a family member, a romantic partner or a friend


》Emotionally dependent people have a great lack of self-control and feel great discomfort when they are not near the person they are dependent on. They feel the insatiable need to be with that person and are unable to sever the ties that bind them.


Key signs of emotional dependence include:

an idealized view of your partner or the relationship

the belief your life lacks meaning without them

the belief you can't find happiness or security alone

a persistent fear of rejection

a constant need for reassurance

feelings of emptiness and anxiety when spending time alone

needing them to build your self-esteem, confidence, and self-worth

feelings of jealousy or possessiveness

difficulty trusting in their feelings for you




Other key signs Include:

The constant need to be close to other people

Constant insecurity

A feeling of not being good enough to be with the partner

Obsessive fear of losing their partner

Constant feeling of guilt if they don't pay total attention to their partner

Acceptance of psychological and physical suffering, for fear of losing the relationship

A constant and dominant feeling of anxiety




Some side effects to being Emotional Dependent are as follows:

Sudden outbursts of anger or sadness accompanied by shouting and crying.

Intense feelings may manifest as violence towards objects and people

Constant feelings of depression and low mood.

Rapid and sudden mood changes or swings.

Somatic symptoms like headaches, stomach distress, and muscle tension

As well as overall poor self care, and all the effects that follow.



》If you're familiar with codependence, you might notice some overlap, but there's some difference between the two.

Codependence happens when you neglect your own needs to take care of a loved one's needs.

Emotional dependence can resemble a type of codependence if you overlook your own emotional needs to prioritize your partner's emotions.



》Maintaining good emotional health is a method to prevent this emotional dependency. It is important in childhood and adolescence (when there is a great deal of emotional and personality development) to nurture self-esteem, personal growth and confidence, as well as to overcome complexes and insecurities.


》The first step toward meeting your own emotional needs involves learning to acknowledge your emotions as you experience them. It's OK if this proves challenging at first. It's pretty normal to have trouble sitting with unpleasant feelings.


Instead of hiding from less-than-ideal feelings or relying on someone to make them go away, get in touch with your sense of curiosity instead. Ask yourself what they're telling you.


》To learn more about yourself and your emotions, try:

meditation

spending time in nature

spending time on your own


》Say you feel like your partner has been neglecting you. You feel jealous, lonely, or unloved. But instead of seeking reassurance, consider the situation from a different angle. In this way, you can help meet your own needs for reassurance and security.

Maybe they need space to work through difficulties of their own. It's normal to need time apart, even in close relationships. This doesn't always mean someone wants out (of the relationship)




》Try focusing on what's enjoyable now by:

spending time with friends outside the relationship

exploring your interests

making time to relax

practicing self-care


》You might notice certain things trigger emotionally dependent behaviors.

For example:

You catch yourself seeking reassurance most when dealing with outside sources of stress, like trouble at work or friend drama.

Your self-esteem tanks when you make a mistake, and you really depend on their approval to lift you back up.

You feel rejected and fear losing their love when they spend a lot of time with someone else.



Identifying specific triggers can help you explore coping methods, whether that's talking to a friend about your feelings or using positive self-talk to remind yourself of your strengths and successes.


》Currently, there are various techniques to treat emotional dependence, which will be chosen or combined depending on each case.



》A psychologist treats emotional dependence among other mental health conditions. After diagnosing emotional dependence, they will assist the patient in determining the cause, support the growth of their self-esteem and confidence, and help them learn to form new relationships and a new life without emotional dependence.


In therapy, you can also work to resolve other issues that often tie into emotional dependence by:

developing greater self-compassion

increasing self-confidence and self-esteem

learning to recognize healthy relationships

learning to challenge and reframe negative thoughts

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