28 - Tattoos

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Steve moves the hair from the side of my neck and places a gentle kiss where his hand brushes before pulling me into his chest to cuddle

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Steve moves the hair from the side of my neck and places a gentle kiss where his hand brushes before pulling me into his chest to cuddle. "What is this?" I ask. "Affection." Steve mumbles into my hair. "Disgusting." I rebut immediately. "Do it again." I request. Steve laughs and his whole body shakes before he repeats his prior actions. He notices a curl of ink around my shoulder, "Did you get a new tattoo?" He questions. "Yeah, it's a cherry blossom tree." Steve hums, "Can you talk me through your tattoos?" He murmurs softly. "It'll put you to sleep." I joke and Steve lets a puff of air out as a laugh, "That's the plan." I nod. "I got the cherry blossom because they represent the transience of life, they don't live very long. I liked the irony, because I feel like I've lived forever."

The next tattoo I talk about runs down my spine, it's designed to look like a sketch of two connected female faces. The line becoming a heart at the base. "I got the back tattoo to show the duality of my personality. The contrasting version of myself at SHIELD and the SSR and the version of myself at HYDRA. I wanted to remind myself that both of those people are me, I can't be one without the other, thus they're connected." I explain and Steve traces his fingers over the tattoo. "It's delicate." He comments. "Yeah, well I guess I subconsciously designed a fragility into the image." I say.

Steve's hands run across my right shoulder where the words 'Die with memories, not dreams' are inked into my skin. "What about this one?" He questions wearily. "I saw it in a book once and I thought it was cool. The more I thought about it the more I realised what it meant you know. Life is short for most people and they should seize every opportunity they came across. It's sort of my version of the 'live life to the fullest' bullshit that people spout when they're trying to motivate you I guess." Steve laughs, "Optimistic." He mocks. "Fuck you." I joke. Steve groans, "Later, now listen here you little shit, you've lived a life that no-one can ever comprehend. Enjoy the peaceful moments like this before you become a pessimistic old lady." I hit his arm, "I'm not that old." I scold. He scoffs, "Whatever you say." 

I look down at my forearms and see the next quotes inked on my skin. My right arm has the words 'We're all in the same game; just at different levels' permanently scribed and my left arm has 'Dealing with the same hell; just different devils' written. "That one," I say pointing to the quotes, "I think is from a song. I think it was just my justification of emotional baggage." I say with a laugh. "But this one," I continue pointing to the three thin, black rings on my left wrist, "This one is my favourite." Steve grumbles groggily, "But it's so simple." He says. "Each ring represents someone I lost. One for James, one for you, and one for myself. I wanted to get one for Howard but I felt so guilty about not being there and knowing him that I couldn't do it." I explain and I feel Steve nods against my head, his arms still wrapped around me.

"Then there's two more. There's the Chinese dragon on my hip. The Chinese dragon represents so much; strength, wisdom, power, good luck, longevity. They're protectors. I just thought it was a nice summary of everything I try to have now that I'm away from HYDRA." I explain. "You said there's two more." Steve says. "I got another new one." I mumble. "Where?" Steve asks. "My lower back." I answer. "You got a tramp stamp?" Steve asks, his head shooting up. "Nat dared me to get it and I couldn't say no." I whine. "What is it?" Steve presses. I groan.

"Your shield."

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