Chapter 5 Fourth and Twenty

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The aliens blarged and blarged as they tried to reach Caboose who stood atop a pillar. Meanwhile, the Blues and Ruby stood behind the crowd of Sanghelli.

Caboose: Get away! Bad aliens! Shoo aliens, shoo! Rolled up newspaper!

Tucker: Maybe you should've thought about that before you lost their all powerful deity.

Ruby: Why do they even worship a bowling ball?

South: Good question.

Caboose: I didn't lose him, he left! Or maybe he lost himself. Or maybe the Reds took him!

Ruby: I already said the guys didn't take him.

A few needles hit Caboose.

Caboose: Ow! Stop that.

Tucker: Well, until the Reds get back, they need somebody to blamed. Better you than me man.

Caboose: Tucker, help me!

Tucker: Yeah dude, I don't know. I don't really want to get in between an angry mob and their religious iconography. I should know, I used to date an Italian girl.

Ruby: Was she real?

Tucker: Of course she was!

Ruby: Uh-huh, sure.

Tucker: Don't you dare.

Ruby: Don't think I won't say it.

Tucker: . . . . .

Ruby: . . . . . Single.

Tucker: God fucking damn it.

South: So that's why he screamed earlier.

Caboose: Church isn't really a god, it's all made up! You all know that.

The aliens then turned to the others. South then pointed at Tucker, redirecting the aliens to him.

Tucker: Woah dude! I don't know shit, that sounds like straight up blasphemy! Also, what the fuck?!

South: Sorry, but I need to keep Ruby from getting shot again.

Ruby: You guys don't need to baby me.

South: You did to me.

Ruby: Yeah well. . . Dang it.

Tucker turned to the aliens.

Tucker: Are you guys going to put up with this shit?

Alien 1: Blarg.

Tucker: That's what I'm saying. Took the blarg right out of my mouth.

Caboose: Tucker, they're going to eat me!

Ruby: They're not going to eat you Caboose.

Tucker: They just persecute you and kill you, stop being such a ba- FUCK!

She lowered her SMG.

Ruby: You'll be fine Caboose.

Caboose: Oh, look! The Reds! They're back and they have your worshippy guy!

The Reds had returned.

Tucker: What, Sarge?

Sarge: We're back, got Simmons too.

Ruby: Is he alive?

Sarge: Yeah. Also, where's the water can? And do you got any more spare jeeps around here?

Ruby: I guess that answers how it went.

Sarge: I don't eat to get into it, but we've identified a tactical weakness in the hood of the current models.

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