zombieland ↬ l.hemmings

[14]

[chapter fourteen. hannah's pov]

I felt sick- completely and utterly sick. Why? We unknowingly brought a zombie into our safe haven and now our lives were at risk. My gaze stay locked on the blood patch smothered across the concrete ground and my stomach began to churn, my limbs beginning to feel light. Ashton's arm slid around my waist and pulled me towards his chest in a protective manor.

"Everything is going to be alright," He whispered.

Although he sounded so sure, I couldn't help but feel as if something bad was going to happen. Heck, we had lost a flesh-eating monster within the maze of an enormous institution and we were doing nothing about it. Someone was going to get hurt. It was evident. And if we planned to lower that chance, we would have to do something pretty soon. As if on cue, an idea popped into my mind.

"Antonella and Destiny; can the pair of you search the east wing?" I questioned. The two brunettes nodded in reply. "Jennif; can you stay here with everything?" Again, a nod was sent my way. "Ashton; you and I will search the north wing," I turned to the curly haired boy who was staring at me, listening and nodding. "We'll scout the area and if we find her, we kill her."

"Everyone collect your weapons!" Antonella instructed.

I pulled away from Ashton, who playfully pouted while following me across the room like a lost puppy. We both grabbed a pocket knife and a sheath each, attaching them to belt loops of our jeans. Once done, we looked to each other for confirmation before making our way over to the large, metal doors. Ashton shoved them open with all his force and we headed down the quiet hallway.

Silence consumed us and the only sound heard was the harsh wind outside causing the structure to groan, our footsteps and the distance drip of water droplets hitting the ground. Ashton was almost a few meters ahead of me, observing every room we passed. Most were filled with dead bodies that had rotted to the point that it didn't even look like human remains, but the scent that lingered said otherwise.

"Ashton?" I questioned suddenly.

He turned and looked over his shoulder, "Yes?"

"Can we play twenty-one questions?" I asked.

"I'm sure it's twenty questions."

"Sorry. I was thinking of an internet thing," I giggled.

"Well... umm... sure," He chuckled.

"Alright. What's your favourite colour?"

"Red."

"Band?"

"Paramore."

"Singer?"

"Lana Del Ray."

"Song?"

"Not sure."

"Music style?"

"Punk or punk-pop."

"Movie?"

"The Breakfast Club."

"Superhero?"

"Iron man or Captain America."

"Scent?"

"Vanilla."

"Food?"

"Lasagna."

I suddenly fell silent, my mind absent of any more questions to ask him. I didn't like the quietness that constantly lingered between us, which is why I always attempted to spark up a conversation, ever if it meant everything coming from my side of the discussion. But everything always felt off since we discovered the mountain of black ash back in Sydney. Ashton seemed distant, but at the same time loving and caring. It was strange. It was as if he was trying to convince himself to like me for my sake.

"Do you miss them?"

Ashton stopped walking and I froze behind him, staring at the back of his head in a quizzical manor for a couple of minutes. I was scared he was going to yell at me, but he sighed incredibly deep, spun around and met my gaze. His eyes were now rimmed with red and glossed over, bottom lip trembling. A single tear slid down his cheek and I reached up, using the pad of my thumb to wipe it away.

"Why, Hannah? Why would you mention them?"

Guilt ate at my entirety, "I'm sorry, Ash."

"I've tried so hard to forget... and then... you go and you bring them up and suddenly all the walls I've tried so hard to build are crashing down. I don't want to think about the fact that I may or may not have lost Luke, Michael and Calum. They meant and still mean so much to me," He whimpered and a pang of sadness hit me right in the heart. How could I be so stupid?

"I didn't know.. I-"

"Of course you didn't know. You're so stupid, Hannah. You're the one who got us in the mess in the first place. If you hadn't of been so weak and childish and naive, we could still be living in that house; safe and sound, while Luke flutters you with love and I watch from aside with tears in my eyes because he always gets the girl. He always does. And even if he doesn't have you now, I know for certain he will. But honestly, you're not worth it. You're not worth the fight," He announces and now it was my turn to cry.

Where the hell had this side of him come from? Oh, yeah, that's right. Back at his old house when I killed his sister and he practically screamed in my face that he wanted me to die. I should've known there would come a time when this would return. It was as if it was just waiting to happen- Ashton's temper was waiting to snap and ruin me. Well, it had succeeded.

"You think I don't already know all that?" I spat as a tear slid down my cheek. "There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about the things I've done wrong. I ran because I was afraid. I ran because I wasn't ready to face love or relationships or anything further after loosing Craige. My sister was murdered because of me. My boyfriend was eaten alive because of me. The only true friends I've ever managed to find were most probably burnt to a crisp in a fire because of me. And now the only person I have left to care about hates me... because of me," I sobbed.

He sucked in a deep breath, as if to hold in something he was about to say. But when he opened his mouth to speak, I chuckled. I hadn't had the chance to voice my opinion on the last thing he'd said to me. At the thought of those cruel words leaving his mouth, my mood instantly changed. I was ready to rant. I was furious. One month ago I would have let it slide, but now I was falling harder for someone than humanly possible and my defensive side had been activated.

"As for Luke and loving me and always getting the girl and me not being worth it; I know I'm a stupid ass who doesn't deserve him or any of the affection he could've given me. I know I'm lame and ugly and fat and dumb and worthless- my abusive mother would say that every day of my fucking life. So don't think it's news to my ears, Ashton. But I like Luke, more than I want to. So that there, what you said, hurt. It hurt allot. Because there's nothing worse than someone you've put so much faith in, offending your one reason to fight onwards. The only thing I want is to see Luke again." I was so stupid to reveal such private details, but he had to know- he had to know he was pushing my boundaries.

"You're not the only one! He's my best friend!" I flinched at his loud volume, slightly sad the first half of my small speech went un-notice until he proceeded further. "But Hannah, pulling the pity trick on me? Really? I would've expected the 'Abusive Mother who calls me horrible names' card from someone else, but you? You really are dumb to think I believe that." He shook his head in disapproval.

"What? I'm not lying!" I screamed and frantically whipped my eyes.

"Yeah... Whatever. I'm done pretending I care about you," Ashton shrugged and walked away.

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a/n: it's short, i know. but i needed to update - hannah xoxo