A Letter To My Lost Lover // DNF

11

I'm never going to be over you, I miss you so much love and I'll never ever forget our memories together and I will always love you and never forget you.

I got dressed into a suit and made sure I looked good. It was cloudy outside and it looked like it was going to rain soon. I drive down to the funeral home and see some people dressed in nice black outfits, I walked around a bit and finally saw the person who was hurting the most.

His mom.

I walk over to her and she's wiping her tears.

"Hello,"
"Hello," She was quiet and her voice was shaky. "Are you George?"
"I am,"
"Clay told me a lot about you, he said you were the best thing that ever happened to him."
"He was the best thing that's ever happened to me." I say letting out a little laugh. "Your son was a good man. Great actually."
"Well I'm glad, I always wanted him to be at his happiest."
"He was, I promise."
"I wished I met you sooner, you seem like a great man."
"You seem like an amazing woman." She smiles and goes to take her seat.

I go to my seat and watch as other people file into the room. I look up and see the casket and it started to set in that he's in a better place. His mom gave a speech and so did his dad.

It was my turn.

I knew a lot of people in the room, but a lot of people didn't know me. I was nervous and sad, what a perfect combo.

"I know that you probably don't recognize me, but I think I should introduce myself. I'm George, I was Clay's boyfriend for 4 years. He was such a kind soul and all he did was spread love around and nothing else, we met at a coffee shop and when I accidentally grabbed his hot chocolate and drank it. He said it was all fine and we actually switched drinks and he found his new favorite drink." I quietly laughed to myself.

"I got to know so much about him and the more I fell in love with him. It's weird to think that he's actually gone, because I spent all my time with him and it was definitely worth it. He taught me so much like how to code and how to be loving towards others. I appreciate having him in my life and I'll never regret the time we've spent together even if they weren't always pretty. I will love him forever and I'll never forget him." I felt the tears flowing down my face, and before I went to sit down I looked into the casket and saw Clay laying there looking very peaceful.

I whisper, "I love you so much." And then go back to my seat. I close my eyes and let more tears fall.

---

"The funeral happened about 2 weeks after he passed."
"Did you get any closure?"
"Somewhat, it was very surreal to see him in his casket. That's when it really set in that he was actually gone."
"Does that make you sad?"
"Very."
"We experience loss, whether that's losing a living thing or losing an object. It's something we all experienced and it's okay to feel what you're feeling."
I nod.

"Thank you for listening I know it's a lot to listen too,"
"Of course, that's what I'm here for. To listen."

---

My love, I'll see you soon.

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Bruh I wrote this stuff while listening to rap songs. It was an experience...