The Change Within

㉑I Don't Think I Can

 
"Jeongguk? Hey, hey, are you okay?" Taehyung fumbled to get to his side, and he helped him move closer to the bed so he could rest his back against it.

"I'm great. So fucking great."

A sorrowful smile surfaced on his quivery lips as tears overloaded his eyes, but he furiously blinked the wetness from his vision, refusing to be a crybaby, as Jeongguk had called him in the past. "Where do you keep your bandages?"

"Third drawer."

Taehyung swiftly grabbed two packs of bandages from his drawer, some tissues, and a bottle of water he found on his desk and returned to his side. They settled in soothing silence as he spilled a dram of water on a tissue and dabbed it at his knuckles, gently brushing off the blood.

The younger wanted to protest, tell him to stop, to leave, but his throat was sealed as his heavy-lidded eyes alternated between poring over Taehyung's delicate ministrations and contemplating his gorgeous features that were tinged with concentration and a spark of sadness.

Every feather-like touch stole the air from his lungs for a brief moment and had his heart prancing in its place as if begging him to maintain contact and stay close to the boy who exuded something placating, warm, and safe? He couldn't remember when was the last time he felt such safety in someone's touch.

Before he knew it, Taehyung finished wrapping up his knuckles, and he had his fingers fondly laced around his forearm as Jeongguk's arm laid on top of his.

Jeongguk's tired eyes traveled to his face, and only then he realized that Taehyung was already gazing at him softly as his back rested against the bed like his. He could see the pile of questions swirl in his chocolate orbs, but he didn't seem like he was about to voice them. In fact, no words seemed to dangle on the tip of his tongue like usual, urging him to spill them.

"I'm okay." Jeongguk's voice came out raspier than he thought, and he cleared his throat, wincing at how sore it felt.

Taehyung gave him two vague nods to show him he heard him, but still, no sound slipped through his mouth; he carried on peering at him in the softest way possible, mind free of any thought unlike before.

"Kim. You're still holding my hand."

The older hummed at the mild-spoken statement, but he remained unmoving.

"Are you planning to let go?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Why?"

"I believe a simple touch like this can keep someone away from any internal chaos. A touch can keep you in reality. I want you to be in reality and away from the chaos inside you."

Jeongguk's eyes formed to rounder ones as he stared in doe-eyed amazement, delving into the words he had never heard before. "You don't have to do that for me."

"You're right, but here I am."

"Yeah, you are." Another galaxy of safety flowed through his insides, warming his blood, as his body took over the lead and coerced him to squeeze his forearm where his fingers laid still for so long. "You are here."

"I am here," he whispered as he returned the squeeze, a faint smile blooming on his traits that made them seem even more beautiful to Jeongguk's eyes.

"Yoongi said... you asked about Johan."

"You don't have to say anything. I was dying to know, but now nothing is more important than—" Taehyung bit his lower lip to choke back the words he almost blurted out as his gaze dropped to the floor, uneasy.