Diary of the Hidden Queen

6/8/13

Well I just figured out Kieran is crazy. He literally just about cut his own arm off just so I could heal it. Luckily Pernilla stepped in and said he only needs to have a small cut. I really think Kieran is getting bored. I tell him he really should have a hobby but he doesn't ever find one. I don't know what he does while I'm at school. Although I thing he hangs out around the school just in case I would need him.

Other than the Kieran thing, the lesson took a lot out of me. Pernilla was right. Blood is the most draining element to work. I feel like I was hit by a semi and that was only healing small cuts on Kieran's arm. How the hell will I feel if I try to heal someone with a broken bone or even bring someone back from the dead? Pernilla is nuts to think I will be able to do that.

I'm taking this down time Pernilla gave me to do some sun tanning and of course write in here. So I'm on the back porch looking out into the woods behind the house we are in. Kieran actually did a good job at picking this house. Speaking of him beside his crazy episode during the lesson, he is now fighting air. Well he at least looks like it. He does that a lot. I've been tempted to mess with the air around him since I gained full control of air a couple summers ago. But Pernilla said is shouldn't use the elements that way.

Watching Kieran makes me wish I wasn't on the run. I'm sure he wishes he wasn't here. Pernilla, well I'm not sure about her. She seems to be the only one happy about our situation. I know if I wasn't what I am I could still be with my parents and living a normal life. Trying to decide what to do with my life after next year not wondering if I'll live past tomorrow.

Kieran has it worse though. I would think if he wasn't here he would have a wife and kids to care, but as Pernilla told me a last year. Kieran and others like him, our society's guards/soldiers, aren't able to fall in love. Apparently when they are around the age of 7 they are "marked" and then given a potion that removes the ability to love. I think it's just wrong that they aren't able to fall in love for their entire life.