Book 5: I'll Wait, Dear (Steven Adler FanFic)

Ch. 5: Daddy

"Hey, momma?" Catherine asked softly.

"What's up, buttercup?" I followed up her question with another one.

We were walking back home, hand in hand once more, only this time, I was lugging around a plastic bag filled with Barbies, books, and VHS tapes.

I'd already decided that I'd purchase the VCR in the following days. Until then, I planned on not telling Catherine what the tapes were for, in hopes of keeping the VCR a surprise. So far, she hadn't seemed to notice the tapes I'd smuggled into the bag. I hoped that she wasn't about to ask me about them and ruin the surprise.

Instead, she threw me a curve ball by asking me a question that stopped me in my tracks.

"Where's my daddy?"

My knees involuntarily buckled and I lurched forward, nearly crashing to the pavement. I caught myself, managing to plant two feet firmly back onto the sidewalk before looking down at Catherine with what I could only imagine was a deer-in-headlights type of stare.

"What?" I croaked.

"Where's my daddy?" She repeated, looking up at me with those piercing green eyes. The same ones that just so happened to also belong to her father.

I looked around frantically, hoping that maybe someone who could actually answer this question would come to my rescue. But there was no Liz and there was no Marilyn. Not even Tar was here to help me. Hell, I would even give up my right kidney just to have Cherry here to explain to my daughter why her father was nowhere to be found.

I gulped and began to pray for a miracle. Like an alien invasion, or even a meteor impact...anything that would distract my little girl from expecting me to respond to her question.

Of course, nobody came to my rescue. No aliens, no meteors...not even Cherry. As always, I was on my own.

"Cat..." I began slowly, dropping down to my knee to speak to her. "What made you think of that?"

Catherine's eye brows were knitted as she spoke. "When I got my Barbie, I saw a girl with her daddy. How come I don't have one?"

I could feel my heart breaking. I could practically hear it shattering in my chest.

How could I bring myself to be honest with her? I couldn't tell a three year old about how her momma got wasted at some concert, had a lapse of judgement, and slept with someone she hardly knew.

I didn't want to lie to her, but I refused to paint her father in a bad light. Just because I didn't like him didn't mean that Catherine had to know all of the grisly details.

I was also a little surprised as well as disappointed in myself that I hadn't been more prepared for this talk with Catherine. Sure, I knew that the topic was bound to come up some day, but I had always imagined that it would be years down the road. I had always just assumed that Liz and I had provided her with enough love for her not to question why one of her parents was out of the picture.

I tried to think up something quick, so as not to worry her.

"You do have a daddy!" I insisted, forcing a smile onto my face. "You do!"

"Where is he?" She pressed.

Shit.

"He's...uh..."

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

"He's just a very busy man, Cathy," I concluded.

That wasn't a total lie. The man was constantly touring and putting out albums. All rock stars were busy men....right?

"When will he come back?" Catherine's voice sounded so small, and I could hear it beginning to waver.

I gingerly set the bag of goodies onto the ground beside me and held my arms up to her, inviting her in for a hug. She instantly leapt into my welcoming embrace and we proceeded to squeeze each other tightly.

"I don't know, Cat," I admitted. "I don't know."

"I'm gonna' do it," I declared.

"Don't do it, Rory. I'm telling you, it's a bad idea," Liz insisted.

"And I'm telling you, it's an even worse idea to try and lie to my daughter about her father and hide him from her. I don't want to wait until she's old enough to understand what happened between us. I want to try and give her a father. Her biological father," I added quickly when I noticed Liz beginning to protest. "I want her to get to know him and judge his character based off of her memories with him. Not mine."

Liz and I were wide awake despite the fact that it was now two in the morning. I couldn't help it. I couldn't sleep a wink with Catherine's worries on my mind. My inner momma bear was kicking in, and I was determined to stoke Catherine's sadness anyway that I could. If that meant facing my past and hunting down her father, so be it.

"I just don't want to see him hurt you again. Or even worse, hurt Cathy. You know the kind of person he can be. Why would you want to invite that back into your life?" Liz asked warily.

My heart sank. I understood Liz's concerns, and they certainly didn't go without merit.

I was very much aware of the evil that he was capable of. But maybe-just maybe-he could change if he knew that he had a beautiful baby girl somewhere out in the world. How could he deny my Cathy, his own flesh and blood?

"I'll speak to him first. I'll test the waters. He can hurt me all he wants-he already has. But, you can't think that I would honestly just drag him into Catherine's life without checking out the situation first," I exclaimed. "I'll find him, and I'll talk to him about it."

Liz heaved a sigh, sinking lower into the recliner she was sitting in. I watched her in silence, looking for signs of what she could be thinking of based on her facial expressions. Unfortunately, she looked extremely disappointed, and equally concerned.

"How are you going to even speak to him? He's world famous, and we're just a couple of nobodys. A stripper and a waitress," she replied doubtfully.

Her words sparked a fire in my gut. A determination that had been smoldering there, but with the light of her words, had since become a wildfire. "I met him before. Before I was even a stripper, when I really was a nobody. I can meet him again. Are you in, or are you out?"

Liz shook her head and licked her lips, staring straight ahead at the wall. "I'm not happy about it, and I still think it's a bad idea...but of course I'm in. You know I've always got your back."

Tears pricked at my eyes and I beamed at my friend. She truly was the greatest friend anyone could ever hope for. It felt good knowing that I wouldn't have to do this alone.

"And, if he just so happens to not be a total douche like I think he'll be," Liz continued, "it will help make Catherine's life better. If I can do that for Cathy, then it'll all be worth it."

I gulped, holding my sobs inside as I blinked back my tears. "Thank you, Liz. Thank you."