Book 5: I'll Wait, Dear (Steven Adler FanFic)

Ch. 28: Dirty Little Secret

I went crawling back to Steven's house, my hair an absolute mess and my dress torn in a few places. It was well passed midnight at this point, and I didn't know how I would talk my way out of this one. My mind was racing with different excuses as I strode up to his doorstep.

Maybe I could say that someone attacked me on the set? But then, Steven would insist on calling the cops. He was always so eager to help and to make things right. No way would he allow me to just ignore being assaulted.

Another option was to tell him that I was late because I decided to go to an after party. I could tell him that the music video was finally finished, and we all went out to celebrate. However, I had told him this morning that the video still had some filming left. I doubted that one could film a video, edit it, and distribute it all in one day, and I'm sure Steven knew it too.

Maybe honesty would be the best option at this point, but part of me wasn't ready to tell Steven about DLR. I knew that it shouldn't matter to Steven what I do with my life, and that it's no business of his if I start sleeping around with anybody, even his own band mates if I felt so inclined. Still, it was more than that. I was worried that he would judge me and that he would be mad.

Or that he won't love me anymore.

For some reason, that thought wiggled it's way into my mind. Stranger still, it bothered me immensely.

Since when did I start to care about how much Steven liked me? It was an odd new revelation, and I didn't like it. Not one bit.

Stopping just in front of the front door, I paused for a moment, collecting my thoughts and trying to determine how this was going to play out for me. Do I lie? Should I spill the beans? I couldn't decide. There were too many options with too many possible outcomes.

So, I decided on the one thing that I could agree on: don't tell him anything. If he asks, don't respond. If he presses, tell him to back off. He wasn't my father, nor was he my boyfriend. He's my babysitter, and he's here to watch my child, not berate me about my life choices. I owed him no explanation, and that was at least a little true.

Sucking in a deep breath, I held up my hand to ring the doorbell. Before I could even press the button, the door creaked open slowly and I saw Steven standing in the entryway. I gasped when I saw him, surprised that he was still awake. I wondered how long he must have been waiting for me and keeping an eye out for me. Probably a while.

His hair was as wild as my own, and his clothes were wrinkled. I could tell from his face that he was exhausted and horribly displeased, as there was no smile to be found. The usual twinkle in his eyes had dulled to hardly even a spark and his shoulders were bent as though some invisible force had a weight rested there. I forced a smile when I saw him.

"Hey."

He didn't respond, but just stared at me blankly. In the silence that followed, I shifted uncomfortably under his hollowed gaze.

"I'm here to pick up Cathy," I continued.

"She's asleep," he said quickly, blinking at me with empty eyes.

"Really?" I asked, not sure of what else to say. He was making this really awkward for me. Why did he keep staring at me like that? He looked like a zombie.

"It's almost one in the morning," he muttered.

I watched him try to lean on the door frame, but he stumbled slightly and nearly fell over. When I reached out to help him steady himself, he lightly slapped my hands away and glared at me.

I gulped. He must know. There's no way he doesn't know. Had Slash seen me? Or Jordyn? I thought I had been so slick. Or maybe he simply guessed it from the fact that I hadn't come back until 1 a.m.