Book 5: I'll Wait, Dear (Steven Adler FanFic)

Ch. 31: Monster

Cathy was in the guest bed, a lavish, queen sized mattress with silk sheets and down pillows. I had kissed her forehead and tucked the blankets in around her sleeping form, unable to look away.

Never had I thought that I could love somebody as much as I loved Catherine. Especially after enduring so much pain throughout my pregnancy. After all of the pain of being a single mother, the pain of being forced to question my relationship with my mother and God and my church, and after the pain of hunger that bit me whenever I skipped meals so that she would have a place to live...I didn't know my heart was capable of that kind of love and generosity.

For something that had caused so much pain, I didn't look at it as a hardship. I felt privileged to be her mother. I was eager to wait on her hand and foot. I was anxious to keep her from any misery.

And that was why I found myself in David Lee Roth's bedroom, ignoring the lines of white dust on his bedside table, and instead giving him a private show. I was dancing to the vinyl record he had playing in the corner, shooting him sultry looks as I peeled off my bra and waved my ass at him.

He was leaning back against the headboard, eyes glazed over, but still somehow managing to follow every move I made. His face was solemn as he watched my hips sway and every so often he would put a bottle of whiskey to his lips and chug.

Meanwhile, I was miles away. I kept losing myself in the sounds of The Beatles record he had put on. It was strange and definitely not something one would normally strip to, but I felt like he just wanted to see me dance and knew that there had to be some sort of music playing for that to happen. Whatever the case, it saved us both from awkward silence, and put me somewhat at ease.

That is, until DLR decided to start talking.

"Your body is so perfect," David commented, watching as I slid my thong down my waist and onto the floor. "I knew I had to have you..."

My dancing slowed and I gave him a curious look. "What do you mean, you had to have me?"

He snorted. "Most of those moms that come to me, sayin' I knocked 'em up and shit...they're disgusting. Or they're loose and saggy. You're gorgeous...and tight in all the right places."

The smirk he gave me sent a shiver down my spine, and I stared after him in disgust. And that was it. That was what it took for this to finally get through to me. The things Steven had been warning me about this whole time, I finally understood.

David Lee Roth wasn't interested in having kids and being a dad. David Lee Roth was interested in my body. He had used me from day one, and I had been dumb enough to seek him out again and let him enter my life. Hell, he even had been receiving my permission to use me as he so pleased. All for Cathy. I had done it all for her.

But a part of me knew that that wasn't entirely true. I had wanted a relationship to form. I had so hoped that I wouldn't have to come to terms with what DLR had done to me. I didn't want to admit that I was damaged. I didn't want to believe that I could have allowed something like that to happen to me.

But it did happen, and Catherine was proof of that. I needed to realize that DLR was my rapist, and that yes, it had been rape. I had to allow myself to be vulnerable for once in my life. Because Steven was right. I didn't tell anybody anything, not even myself. But the truth was out now, and I was ready to listen.

"Oh my God..." I murmured, reaching down to pull my thong back up. "Oh my God..."

"What?" David demanded, his voice getting loud again like it had over the phone.

"You're a monster," I spat, pulling a shirt on over my head. I had to skip my bra because it had landed close to him on the bed, and I was terrified to go near him right now.