happy pills ~a treebros ghost au~

empty home

Sorry last chapter was so short. This one'll be longer and better, I promise.

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I climb down from the roof and stand in the empty hallway I used to walk across daily. I walk to my former locker and sigh, leaning my forehead against it.

Why did I have to climb that stupid tree? Why couldn't I have just gone home and watched some movie and cried? That's how I usually cope. Why couldn't I have written something for Dr. Sherman? Why did the one time in my life where I decided to try to make it all better have to be the time I died? This is just proof I shouldn't take things into my own hands. It messes everything up. If I had just gone to Dr. Sherman and told him about it, or if I had just gone home, I would be alive right now. It's all my fault, I think there's no one who can disagree with that. It's all my fault. My mother's gonna be crushed when I go see her, isn't she? She is, there's no way she can deal with it. She couldn't lose me. She'd said so. She'd told me she couldn't manage alone. She'd told me it would break her, she'd told me she couldn't lose me. She'd told me and what did I do? I fell out of a tree. Like a goddamn idiot.

I slammed my head into the locker, tears dripping down my face. I balled up my fists and pressed them into my eyes, stopping the tears from making it down my cheeks and onto the ground. I didn't even know if there was an actual puddle there, I didn't know if anyone would be able to feel the tears there and know someone had been crying. I was shaking, gulping down air and gritting my teeth, trying my best to keep it together. I stood up more-or-less properly and looked around the empty school, vision clouded. In a few weeks the kids with presences would be filling the halls, shoving each other and shouting, and those without would be walking along quietly. I want to go to school on the first day, see a day from an outside point of view for once. I took a few steps, testing my legs, worried they wouldn't hold me, and wiped my eyes clear of tears. I knew it was stupid to hold back my crying when no one could even see or hear me but it felt wrong to fall apart when it was my fault. I didn't have the right to fall apart. I did this to myself. Stupid. Stupid. Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupid.

I took a long breath and quickly walked out of the school. The outside air helped me calm down, I'd trained my body to not freak out when outside: I'd once started crying at the bus stop because I was going to be late to school and I never wanted to do that again. (totally not based on my own experiences *awkward laughter*)

I rushed to the bus stop near my school and hopped onto the bus as the door closed. I realized could probably walk through walls because the doors closed while I was only half on the bus and I felt nothing.

I sat down on an empty seat and looked around at the other passengers. There weren't that many, the bus was mainly filled with students not taking the school bus and school was still out, but there were some people. I saw someone wearing headphones and walked over to them and took the headphones from their head. Well... not really. It seems I can take copies of items, so the headphones were still on the person's head but now I also held the exact same headphones and they'd be playing the same music. I put them on and flinched. The music was too loud for me, considering I never played my music very loud at all for fear other people might hear and disapprove.

I live in your head,
And I will haunt your fucking dreams.
Set it off. I'm not sure how I knew what the band was but I did. I also knew that this was the haunting from duality. I'd never heard it before but I also knew the lyrics, which was a confusing experience.

By the time it was my stop I'd added set it off to the bands I like...d? No, cause I didn't like them before but now I do... but I'm dead so can I even add to my tastes? I am mightily confused.

The confusion melted away and was replaced with terror when I saw my house. I tried to tell my feet to stop and give my brain a chance to calm down but it wasn't working, I just kept walking. I twitched my hands, twisting my fingers and shaking my hands out. I tugged at my sleeves and fixed my arm. Oh yeah, my arm is strangely set after falling from the tree, I think I broke it but I can't exactly got to the hospital and ask them to fix it cause to everyone I'm buried underground right now.

I stood in front of my front door and shifted my weight from leg to leg, pacing around and clasping and unclasping my hands. I finally had enough of my own anxious pacing and entered my house. The living room looked the same as normal and so did the bathroom. I checked the kitchen. There were empty beer bottles littered across the counter and a half eaten pizza still in the box.

I went to my room and looked around. Nothing had been touched but someone had clearly been in here a lot. My computer was closed on my bed so I picked it up and opened it. My mom hadn't even checked my computer, everything was exactly how I'd left it.

I went to my closet and grabbed some new clothes, changing into them. I could leave my old clothes on the ground, my mom wouldn't be able to see them. I knew cause at one point I sat down and took my shoes off and no one even looked mildly confused about the personless shoes and I didn't exactly live in a town where personless shoes were normal.

I put my computer down and walked back out of my room, where was my mom? I checked her room and it was a mess but she wasn't there. Maybe she wasn't home? I rechecked the house and couldn't find her. Should I wait? Yeah, maybe she was at work.

I sat down in the living room with my computer and my earbuds in, waiting for my mom to come home.