happy pills ~a treebros ghost au~

cautious and slightly hostile apathy

i just realized why writing this on my laptop feels so weird: the chapter titles remind me of playwrite and i wrote that almost entirely on my laptop. whoa.

—~•~—

I hear the door open and shut and jump up. It's been a full night but mom came home, I guess she had a night shift. I ran to the door to see her. She looked exhausted but not in the usual way. She leaned on the door and sighed loudly.

"I spoke with your father earlier, Evan," she says and I jump, heart beating faster. She's talking to me. Then I see she isn't looking at anything. She doesn't know I'm here, she's just talking to me. "He's being his usual self, won't help me even though his son died. I'm trying to figure out, Evan, it's so difficult without you here. How much of you did I even know?" I gasp as she starts crying. Not sure why I'm surprised but somehow it takes me aback.

"I'm sorry." I whisper but it wouldn't mean anything even if she could hear me, I apologized for too much while alive.

My mom stands up and goes to the kitchen, grabbing a slice of the pizza and eating it half-heartedly. I can't watch anymore and she's not even acting that bad. There's just something so broken about her and I feel so horrible. I did that to my mother because I was an idiot and couldn't hold onto a tree branch.

I grab my computer and headphones, or my version of them, and put them in my bag which was still by the door. I feel horrible leaving her but me being her helps no one. I'm leaving when she speaks again.

"I'm going to the Murphys' house later today," she says and I stop dead. "That boy, Connor, he seems so angry all the time."

That's definitely Connor for you. I mused then hated myself for it.

"But he did something kind, calling the ambulance, so maybe there's a chance he's actually ok."

Wait what?

"Cynthia is very nice though I can't imagine what it must be like having Connor as a child. It was difficult to deal with your anxieties but at least you'd never do anything bad."

I'm right here, mom.

"I just want to know if he knows anything. He was there when you died, you know. I was working in the opposite side of the hospital. I wasn't even there when you died."

Hang on, what?

"I guess we'll see at 7." She sighed and leaned on the counter like she couldn't stand without it.

I'm coming back at seven, I need to know what's going on here. Connor Murphy was there when I died? Did he kill me or something? Why on earth would Connor Murphy call an ambulance for anyone?

I walked out through the door (I can do that, apparently the ghost stories weren't that wrong) and went to the bus stop. I got on the bus and didn't have any destination in mind, I just needed to go somewhere.

—~•~—

At 6:30, I was at home in the living room waiting for my mom. I think she's still at work and I wasn't about to bother her. So I waited.

She came home at around 6:45, changed out of her hospital scrubs and got into her car. I climbed in after her before she could drive away. I had no clue where the Murphys live, I'd get super lost and lose to opportunity to figure out what was going on.

My mom drove in silence something, if I had a car and/or driver's license, I'd never allow. Silence leaves to much time for thought. And thought never was much of a good thing. It still isn't, I just care less about other people's opinions on me cause no one can form opinions on me anymore.

She parked the car in the driveway of this fancy-looking house in a fancy-looking part of town and knocked on the door. I just walked through and into the house. Mrs. Murphy was heading to the door, Mr. Murphy was sitting at the table, Zoe was sitting beside her father and I felt my anxiety kick in only to realize I couldn't mess up because I had no effect on anyone at all. ✨hooray✨ But where was Connor? There was no way I could miss him in this house, it seemed well cared for and neat and almost friendly and that was the opposite of Connor Murphy, I don't think he cared for himself and he was not neat or friendly at all.

I looked around and decided to go upstairs. There were a few doors on the upper floor and I peeked my head through them, looking for Connor. One was a bathroom, one was Mr. and Mrs. Murphy's room, one was Zoe's (she was pretty great at decorating) and the last one was dark, walls covered in posters with a black bed around the middle and a hunched figure sitting on it. Connor Murphy. I heard footsteps coming closer and clearly he did too because he turned around and screamed. I jumped back, shocked. Not by his scream but because he looked at me. He didn't just look at the door, no, Connor looked me in the eyes and screamed.

"Connor?" Mrs. Murphy was standing by the door now and I moved aside out of instinct. "Are you ok?" She opened the door and Connor stared at her, eyes still wide with shock. "Why did you scream?"

"It's nothing," he snapped and his face fell into a look of cautious and slightly hostile apathy. (cons: people always ask if you're ok)

"Well it's dinner time and Heidi came over again. Please be more polite than last time," Mrs. Murphy seemed so exhausted of her son and Connor clearly saw it too because he frowned.

"Yeah yeah." He stood up and shut a book or something. I tried to both hide and be visible to check if he could see me. He walked right past me, unfazed. So maybe I was wrong and he couldn't see me? I watched Connor walk down the stairs after Mrs. Murphy and went into his room. I could go down to the dinner table later.

I looked around Connor's room. Band and movie posters covered every inch of space, there was a record player in one corner and beside it a precariously balanced pile of records that I didn't want to knock over by looking through. His desk had loose papers littered all over and some school stuff in a pile, there were also marks on it from what was probably pencils being shoved into the paper too hard. There were two tall bookshelves filled with so many books some were shoved in on their sides. On his bedside table there was a pair of headphones and a lamp, as well as some books and his phone and a laptop and lots of little things. The thing he'd shut when he left was a small black book. I opened it and looked at the drawings, they were all pretty good.

"Connor!" I heard someone, Mrs. Murphy probably, yell from downstairs. I didn't know if he could get sent away from the dinner table but I wanted to get down there before he did, just in case.