𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙈𝙄𝙎𝙀 𝙈𝙀 || 𝘬. 𝘻𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘺𝘤𝘬 ✔

𝟸.𝟸𝟶 - 𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙪𝙚

act 2, chapter 42, epilogue

- 1st Person POV -

Climbing up the mountain had felt like a life times worth of walking. I wanted to complain, but there was no one to complain to.

The sky was a beautiful shade of lilac mixed with black, allowing certain areas to be highlighted.

With one step after the next, my mind slowly drifted off to what had happened two months ago.

Firstly, I went up against Hisoka in a match. At first, I thought he had set it all up and so I was just angry. He ended up walking away from the match, meaning I had to go against someone who had just volunteered. The person who volunteered happened to be some crazy chick, who was super in love with Hisoka.

To sum it up: she almost killed me, I admitted my feelings to Killua when I was half dead, he admitted his as well, I went through many treatments and surgeries, barely living through them.

I was basically some miracle case.

Finally, when all that was over with, Killua and I started dating. Or, not officially- he hasn't exactly asked me out, but we like each other, so that means we're dating... right?

Taking a large and unnecessary breath, a rush of cold air inhaled through my throat, causing a cough to hitch out.

I took my final step up, right when a gush of wind tickled across my skin, causing goose bumps to appear.

I was in pain, but this helped ease the tension slightly.

Looking out across the mountain's view, a human's shadow was seen sitting on the edge. They were sitting out, looking over the numbers of large buildings from the city. The persons' figure was shaped of a man- who was defined.

I slowly approached the figure, still with my gaze set onto the night sky.

(Read this next part while listening to As The World Caves In. YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.)

When I finally came next to them, they hadn't even looked up or acknowledged a thing. They disregarded me being there completely.

With that, I sat down next to them, with the help of my crutches. I only brought the cutches up here after Killua argued with me, just to be safe.

It was silent when we sat there, just admiring the view. There was the sound of some cars honking and crickets chirping, maybe I could even hear myself breathing.

It was one of those moments when you know you won't forget it. One of those moments you treasure because of how at peace you are with yourself.

"One of those moments, isn't it?" The voice asked.

I looked over, taking in the persons' appearance. I could see exactly who they were and exactly what they looked like.

I turned back over to the city lights, nodding in the while. I mumbled a, "mhm."

Once again it became quiet. Only this time, there were no noises in the background: no crickets, no honking, and no, I couldn't hear myself breathing.

"Hisoka?" I asked.

"Hmm~"

I took a breath before continuing, "why'd you leave the fight?"

"Didn't I tell you, Y/N?" He looked over to me, allowing the sight of those eyes I loved oh so much- to be seen.

"I will always fight with you, not against you."

It went dead silent as I processed his words thoroughly.

"Oh." my voice cracked at the end, while tears formed in the midsts of my eyes.

My barrier broke right in that second.

Those tears I collected all throughout my childhood had finally decided to push and push, finally breaking through. All those scars and all those memories pounced back into my brain.

They flushed straight back into my mind, even the ones I didn't remember from before.

That one memory came back. That one that I supposedly forgotten. The one I pushed to the back of my head, forgetting it all together.

"Oh, o-oh no, no, no," I repeated, my voice reaching highs and lows, "no, no."

My lip quivered as so many emotions rain through my mind.

"You- she," I cried, breathing heavily, "I- so, she..."

This one, simple memory. It held a power over me.

"You remember?" He asked, pity roaming his voice.

My breathing had been all over the place, not being able to set on a simple pattern.

"H-Hisoka," I cried, "I didn't- I didn't know."

He smiled softly, and pulled me into his arms, letting me cry to my hearts' desire. He would just sit there and listen, maybe add in a few comfortable words every once in awhile.

"Shh~ yes, it's true," he comforted, causing even more panic to rush over me.

Suddenly, I started banging his chest- not hard, but just enough. Just enough to show how much I wanted out.

A scream left my throat, while my fists grew stronger against his chest. The scream filled with agony.

It was a cry for help.

"You... you killed her!" I shouted, throwing fists in a rather weak attempt.

"YOU KILLED HER!!"

He sat there, taking it all in. Hearing my cries, pleads, and shouts. Just listening to what all he had caused.

"You..." I had lost energy. "You... killed..." I stopped fighting, and instead stopped every motion all together.

"You killed our mother."

Silence.

Why does silence seem to run over everything else. Couldn't there at least be some cricket in the background? What happened to that loud one from just a few minutes earlier?

"I did," he agreed, unfazed.

I looked up at my brother, my eyes foggy and baggy. They lost interest in opening.

"Thank you," I whispered, finally.

To most, saying thank you to your brother who had killed your mother... well it wasn't the most ideal situation. But it was much needed.

Because all this time, I had forgotten a key memory to my childhood.

That home invasion that killed my mom, wasn't a home invasion. I hadn't remembered it before, but now I knew the complete truth.

My mother tried to kill both Hisoka and I before attempting suicide.

It was the sad truth, and a truth I don't even know if I'm ready for. It'll tower over me my whole life.

That loving woman had been a huge part of my only 'happiness' as a child. And so knowing that she wasn't so happy just makes me want to vomit.

If Hisoka hadn't killed our mother before she killed us, well then I wouldn't have been able to have such these interesting memories.

I wouldn't have met Gon, the boy who always seems so happy. I wouldn't have met Kurapika, a smart boy with a traumatic past. Leorio, who gets on my nerves so much, yet still holds a large place in my heart.

And Killua, the boy who allowed me to feel that strange feeling of love again.

I wouldn't have experienced any of it without Hisoka.

"Thank you," I repeated.

"That's what family is for," he replied.

PUBLISHED | 3/27/21