The Grey In Black And White {COMPLETED}

Grey Rainbow

“Fight or flight, I’d rather die than have to cry in front of you. Fight or flight, I’d rather hide than tell you I’m in love with you.”
Fight or Flight – Conan Gray

*****

Moyo couldn’t be fully happy about his exams. Don’t get him wrong, he was happy it’s over. He is. It’s the thought of what he had to do later that day that had him feeling nervous. He knew he had to be honest with Austin but he was also scared of how Austin would take it.

“Moyo you’re really not coming for the party? The party go make sense oh. Girls go plenty. Na major flex na.” His friend Chidi tried to convince him. They were on their way home and Moyo was about head into his street. Which was where they would separate.

“No, guy. I no dey the mood. I just want to rest really. Just gist me how it went tomorrow.” He told him, waving and turning into his street. If only his friend knew that he wasn’t even into girls.

He had already texted Austin earlier on to meet at Moyo’s place. So he had limited time to get ready. Austin might already be waiting for him at his house even.

Getting to his house, he was proven right. There was Austin standing there waiting. He hesitated a little, pausing a few feet away from him. Now that Austin was standing right in front of him, he wasn’t so sure he could do it.

“Hey. How was it?” Austin asked him once he got to his door.

“Great actually. Have you been waiting long?” Moyo asked him. He was currently a nervous wreck and Austin could see that.
“Is something wrong? You sounded nervous on the phone too.” Austin asked him as they entered his room. Moyo tried to avoid him by fussing over his bag. Changing its position on his bed.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Austin asked him, holding his hands and stopping him from picking up his bag again.

Austin wasn’t stupid. He had an idea of what Moyo wanted to talk about but he didn’t want to believe that. He knew he had been pressuring him for a while now about making their relationship official and going beyond chaste kisses. He also knew he probably should take it slowly with Moyo, seeing as he’s just accepting his sexuality, but he couldn’t help it. He really liked Moyo. A lot. He didn’t really see what exactly Moyo should be ready for, if he liked him too then it’s that simple. He knew he was being selfish but that’s just him. He was used to getting what he wanted and the fact that Moyo was taking this long to be his, was getting on his nerves each day.

Moyo took a deep breath. Willing his mouth to cooperate with his thoughts well.
“I know you’ve been wanting us to be official and take things to the next level, so I’ve been thinking and I’ve come to decision.” He said firmly, looking Austin in the eye.

Austin wouldn’t listen to the voice in his head that was telling him Moyo wasn’t about to agree with him. He refused to believe that. Moyo was going to be his. He had to!

“And I’ve realized that going into a relationship is not what I need right now.” There he said it. He suddenly felt lighter. He knew he still had to explain further, but he felt relieved.

“What?” Austin asked in disbelief. He disconnected his hands from Moyo’s and moved away from him.
“What do you mean It’s not what you need? You said you had feelings for me too.” He hissed harshly, his voice accusing.

Moyo sensed him getting angry and panicked. “Yes I do. I swear I do.” He tried to move closer to Austin and hold his hands, but Austin avoided him and stood up.

“I like you and I really want to date you too.” He tried to explain, standing up and facing him. “But I don’t think I’m ready for that. No. I know I’m not ready for that. It’s not what I need right now.” He explained. Desperately pleading for Austin to understand him. He really liked him and he didn’t want him getting hurt or upset.