kill me{marauders+regulusblack}

halloween

31st october 1974

Halloween was not really celebrated in the UK, it was an American thing, yet thanks to Mary it had become an annual tradition. The majority of the fourth year and the whole of Gryffindor were planning on attending the celebrations this year. There was always big flashy lights, loud muggle music, a big crowd of people and a large detention that Natasha pretty much escaped most years, excluding last year.

Dressing up wasn't a big thing either, but you still had to wear darker, more seasonal colours; black, purple, red and orange. Sometimes green, that wasn't really a big hit. Somehow, Lily was always effortlessly beautiful. And Marlene, you could spot her in the most crowded of places. She had this way of just making you smile.

Natasha pulled on her black jumper, she didn't really wear dark clothes, she felt brighter colours could make you feel brighter. She never wanted to admit it, but she was a massive Renaissance era fan. She loved the massive dresses, and the idea of a ball, and just celebrations.

By the time she had successfully got around the school to the lake, a party was in full swing. Their was a lot more than just fourth year and Gryffindor; from the look of it, the majority of the school was there. She was scanning the crowd, and then someone put their arm around her from behind.

"It's me, it's me Nat, calm down." James said as she jumped. He always tried to make her more comfortable in the situations, and stopped her leaving and just studying, "Not your scene, is it?"

She looked at him, and saw him smiling down at her with a genuine grin, "No. You know, I am pretty sure I would rather tackle the giant squid or that tree by the forest than stand here-"

"Stop being such a spoilsport, I saw Snivellous so I thought maybe..."

"Not tonight J, why don't we just have one night? One night with no Snape, no Lily, no drama, no pranks?"

"O'right, no Sni-, Snape and no Evans, and no drama or pranks, got it!"

And he did that, they sat down under one of the trees nearby, and watched the scene, fingers intertwined, heads leant against each other. They talked about the music, the moon, the stars, just anything and everything but the bad feeling they both had in their chest. Natasha buried deeper in to his shoulder, and he didn't move away. He looked down at her, before resting his head on hers.

Once it had hit eleven, they both made their way up to the common room. Natasha noticed herself staring at him, trying to make eye contact, yet also avoiding it. They stood awkwardly in the common room, and Natasha made to make her way to her bed.

So no Evans tonight, right?

Right, Ja-

And he kissed her, holding her face. Time stood still for one moment, and they let go. He looked at her, waiting for her face to show a response.

James, I cant- I just cant.

"Why not? Tell me you didn't feel something tonight, tell me you didn't feel that-"

"I never said I didn't feel it, but you like Lily, you always have done, you always will."

"And you always complain about it, so why can't I, why can't we? You can't dictate my life!"

James' voice was raised now, and Natasha had started to cry. She could feel the tears on her face, feel the eyes of the other Gryffindor's on them, feel the anger rising inside of her,

"I don't want to J, now get out of my way."

And, somehow, James' body was forced to the side, jerking. He looked at her, tears also in is eyes. She hadn't done that, she didn't even have her wand. Yet, her eyes were burning, and the hairs on the back of her neck were standing up. Their friends had arrived back by now, all watching the events before them. She muttered her apologies and walked to her dorm, alone.

Their friends had a million questions, James and Natasha never argued, and especially not like that. James' looked at them, the tears spilling, and just stormed past to the boy's dorm.

"What do you think happened?"

Mary started, "I don't know Sirius, but it looked bad."

"Whatever you do, don't ask either of them." Remus warned, knowing well of both of their ability to argue.

Once everyone had made their way to bed, the boys found James curled up, still in his clothes. He didn't talk, or even acknowledge them. None of them asked, but Sirius got out of bed once the others were asleep, and held him while he cried.

Meanwhile, in the girl's dorm, no one really said anything but they all sat and studied for a few hours. Natasha sat and read her notes off Regulus over and over, yet she still could not get it in to her head. The lines were still blurred and they swam all over the page.

"I'm going to the bathroom." She excused herself, and walked down to the girl's bathroom. Her hands slipped and fumbled as she turned the taps, splashing her face with cold water.

Just breathe you twat, it was a kiss. It's normal. Yes, that was your first kiss, but you can't help it. Just talk to him.