Broken Hearts, Severed Limbs (Levi x OC x Erwin)

|20| Can it Be?

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. The rhythmical beating of a heartbeat that matched her own was the first thing that she heard when she slowly stirred from sleep. She did not remember sleeping so peacefully before. She kept her eyes closed and remained close for another small moment. Wait… close to what? Nathalie’s eyes snapped open and she realised someone was holding her. Arms were tightly wrapped around her, and her own palms were pressed against Levi’s chest.

Wait… Levi!? She had actually slept with Levi?! Heat spread across her cheeks right away. Was he really holding her?! Suddenly her heartbeat stopped matching his own and quickened right away. She couldn’t tell whether she wanted to stay there, or pull back and immediately apologise, because, there was no way he wanted this. Her. She was absolutely certain that Levi had a large experience with women, and she was -in no away- better looking than whatever Levi had seen. Why in the world was he even holding her?

She couldn’t believe herself. Why was she even panicking?! This wasn’t worth panicking. What was worth panicking was when she’d find out that one of her Titan Biology theories were not correct, or when Hange would do something stupid enough to threaten the lives of their beloved test subjects. No. She knew Levi. Levi wasn’t hugging her because he wanted her, he was hugging her because… because… Nathalie did not indulge herself with an answer to that. Maybe that’s why she was panicking.

Nathalie tried to pull herself out of that sweet little trap of his arms, but his arms tightened slightly. He wasn’t sleeping, was he? He must have been awake way before she did. That’s when she panicked even more.

“Stay,”

Had he really just said that? Or was it just a trick of her imagination? It was definitely a trick of her imagination, wasn’t it? But, it was true that she couldn’t escape his embrace now. She gave it another try, but failed again, until she realised: did she really want to?

Of course, I do! She didn’t care about all that hugging and touching and… all those things that couples do. No! What she cared about the most, was ✨science✨. Science does not hurt people. It definitely doesn’t. It always kept her head straight. It kept her focused on a purpose, and she could live with that. What kept Levi focused was killing. They both had their hobbies. They should leave it at that, right? Right?!

There wasn’t anything special about hugs. It wasn’t like they felt nice, and warm, and consoling, and reassuring, and comforting, and… Nathalie sighed heavily. Who am I kidding? She loved that hug. No. She loved all those hugs that had come from him. Every single one of them. But hugs led to romance, and romance led to relationships, and relationships led to suicide.

At least in most books that she had read. (A/N: She probably read my books🤣)

Nathalie realised that she was terrified of relationships. She was terrified of feelings in general. That’s why she had never attempted anything with anyone. Needless to say, that if she had and Levi had found out, he’d haunt them down and murder them in cold-blood without a second thought. 

And that was because she was like a little sister to him. Right??? Right?!!

Of course, she was probably panicking for absolutely nothing. Of course, there was that possibility that he had no such intention whatsoever. No. She was absolutely sure that he didn’t. She was anything but pretty, and she had anything but what a guy would want from a woman.

Nathalie realised that apart from the long-gone members of their squad, and her long-gone friends, she didn’t have any other people left to hug her other than Levi. Or maybe Hange too would drag her in the most suffocating hug when the two of them would come up with something brilliant. But a hug wasn’t something she was used to, and maybe that’s why she found Levi’s hugs so special.