Broken Hearts, Severed Limbs (Levi x OC x Erwin)

|145| Too Late to Apologise

TRIGGER WARNING: YOU'RE GONNA CRY, GRAB TISSUES

Okay that's not a warning but anyway

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It felt familiar. Nathalie could never forget the last time she had stared up at the sky like this. It wasn't too many months away. Just like back then, in that beach in Fort Slava, she now lied down, unable to move, her eyes, fixated at the sky. The dark grey sky reflected perfectly on her bright blue irises. She couldn't think too much right now. Blood seeped from the corner of her lips. But that wasn't the only blood that seeped from her body right now. She could hardly breathe. Each breath felt like it was tearing her insides. But she tried to. She tried to breathe just to stare at the sky, and see how peaceful it was. There was something so soothing about the dark grey clouds that covered everything above. It was raining, but not too much. It was a light drizzle. A few cold drops found her face.

Her ears still buzzed from the bomb that had landed right on top of her. Levi had sent a thunderspear, diverting it from landing on her, but it still landed pretty close. It hadn't burned her body, but still... still. Her bullet wounds were too many and she had been bleeding for too long. And then, it was that large chunk of metal that she had landed on as she was tossed away from the blast and it had stabbed right into her body. Her one arm lingered on her belly. She couldn't tell whether she had lost it or not. Her child. Well, it didn't really matter, did it? She was dying.

A few more drops of rain landed on her cheeks, her body. Her blood had soaked her clothes and even the muddy soil beneath her. And she knew. She knew that was it. She didn't know whether she was supposed to cry or feel relieved. She didn't know whether she wanted to stay back with her husband and children or just... rest. Just rest. Please. A part of her begged. She had returned from the hell that she had gone through in Marley, but even when she returned home with her friends, her children, her husband, she still suffered. Hell seemed to follow her everywhere.

For a moment she felt like slipping away. Yeah. Right now, for real this time, because there was no one and nothing that could bring her back. She had no squad to scavenge her body within the corpses of a battlefield and force her back to life. And the people that she had there that loved and cared about her, would never try to bring her back from the dead, forcing her to fight and stay into this hell of a life. Yeah. That was it.

Nathalie closed her eyes tiredly and she allowed the exhaustion to overtake her. But the moment she closed her eyes, all she could see was Furlan and Isabel. Their cute little smiles. The nights she spent reading bedtime stories to them. The hours she spent teaching Isabel new words and how to read. Her sweet little babies. Oh God. Tears rolled down her cheeks and merged with the raindrops.

"Mommy and daddy are going to come back... I promise you," Nathalie gave it her all to keep her voice low, because this might have been a promise, but she did not want them to hear it. She did not want them to hear her promise them something that she couldn't keep. "Mommy and daddy love you both so much," At least that was something that she could indeed promise that it was true.

No. She couldn't even promise that even that last part was true. She couldn't even promise that she loved them. Them and that precious little life inside of her. She couldn't even promise that, because her marriage was ruined. Her relationship with Levi, the man that she loved, and spent so long falling for, he thought she had chosen him over somebody else. Oh God. She had failed as a mother because she was right there now, dying. Because she had launched right into a battle knowing full well that she was probably pregnant. Knowing full well that she had children waiting for her.