The A-Team

CH.18

Ali's POV

"Good morning little man." I say walking into Ryker's room. He stretches out his limbs and smiles. I scoop him up in my arms. "You want to go cuddle with Mama before she has to go back to work today?" He smiles. Ash took part of the morning off so she could spend a little more time with us, before going into work later this morning. We walk into the bedroom and Ash is just waking up. "Morning." Ash's voice thick with sleep. "Morning, someone wants some cuddles before you go to work." I say and nod down to the one month old baby in my arms. "Come here." She says with a smile. She takes Ryker from me and lays him on her sports bra clad chest. I go to my side of the bed and lay on my side, holding my head in my hand. Ryker looks up at his Mama and smiles. "Good morning, bubba." She kisses his head, rubbing his back. He moves his little arms around and yawns as he lays on Ash's chest. "Ugh I wish I didn't have to go back to work today. I just want to stay here and lay in this bed with my family all day and cuddle." She pouts. "I know baby." I say and cuddle into her side. We cuddle for the next fifteen minutes before Ash has to get ready for work. As she gets dressed, I feed Ryker.

"This is going to be harder than I thought it would be." She says as she laces up her boots. "I know it will, but  I'm sure everyone will be happy to have you back, especially Houston. I'm sure she missed you." I say, just as Ryker finishes. "I know, but I just don't want to miss out on anything. I mean, what if something happens and I'm not here to help you?" She says, staring to get a little teary eyed. "Ash, come here." I say and pat the spot on the bed next to me. I hold Ryker in one arm and pull Ash in for a one armed hug. "We'll be okay. If anything does happen and I can't get ahold of you, I'll call my Dad, alright?" I say and she nods against my shoulder. She lifts her head and rests her forehead against mine. "I love you, you know that?" She says. "Yes I do. I love you too, baby." I say and kiss her softly. Ryker starts getting fussy and Ash offers to burp him so, she can spend a little more time with him. When she finishes burping him, she gently kisses his head. "I love you Ryker Kai so much." She says. A couple minutes later, we all head downstairs. Ash grabs something quick to eat before grabbing what she needs. "Be good for Mommy, bubba I love you." She says and kisses his nose. "Remember: we love you and have a good day." I say.

"Yes ma'am and I love you too." She says and kisses me before heading out the door. I stand at the door with Ryker in my arms as we watch Ash pull out of the driveway and disappear down the street. "Well Ryker, I guess it's just you and me little man until Mama gets home." I say, shuting the door before heading into the living room. I lay down on the couch and lay Ryker on my chest as I watch some TV. Thirty minutes later Ryker starts crying and I smell a terrible odor coming from his diaper. I stand up and head upstairs to go change his diaper. "There we go all clean." I say after I change his diaper. I scoop him up and kiss his nose. We walk to the master bedroom and I lay him in the middle of the bed, while I clean a little. I was cleaning my side of the closet when I found one Ash's old BDU jackets. "Why was this on my side?" I wonder outloud. I pick it up off the floor and a envelope falls out of one of the pockets and it's addressed to me, I open it up and read it.

Dear Alex,

If you're reading this my time on earth has sadly come to an end. I wish I didn't have to write this letter, but I thought it would be a good idea to write it so, you know exactly how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I'm sorry I had to leave you like this, it was definitely not how I wanted to spend my last moments on earth. I would have rather been by your side as I took my last breath. I know I won't be there physically when you need me, but just remember that one night in highschool when we snuck out and laid in the bed of my truck and gazed up at the stars. When you're missing me terribly look up at the moon and just remember that when you see that moon I'm in a better place looking at the same moon as you. I know that you'll scream and cry and ask why I was taken from you so soon, but it was all in God's plan. I guess he thought it was time for me to reunite with my parents and brother again. When you miss me something terrible and it feels like you can't go on anymore, just keeping living because, you still have your whole life a head of you, even if it feels like you don't. I'm so, so sorry I wasn't able to give you the family that we always dreamed of having one day. But I still want you to have that family that you always envisioned, just with someone else who loves and cares for you as much as I do. I know it'll be hard to be with someone else, but I just want you to be happy again.