Eight Letters / Taegyu; Until the End

three

see me hurt but you don't judge

word count; 733

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"why do i always have to order the food?"

i glared at him because he obviously knew the answer, he just chose to whine about it all the time. every time it was suggested that food be ordered he tries to get me to order but just ends up doing it himself because he knows no matter how hard he tries to push me for my own good, i simply will never be able to talk to a stranger without the hint of anxiety. even if the talking is only a two minute scripted conversation where i place the order and say thank you.

once said food had been ordered and arrived, i set the different flavored chicken boxes down on the coffee table and he carried in a few different sodas by the handful using blankets to hold them in a makeshift bag. 

i opened the chicken and set out our chopsticks and stacks of napkins and sauce. the table looked almost like a buffet at a restaurant. but that's usually how things ended up when we had dinner together at his house.

the coffee table set out with a variety of drinks and sets of food and such alongside our laps draped with blankets as we sat shoulder to shoulder on the soft bean bag chairs we ended up dragging out at some point. because we both agreed that expensive, cold, leather couches were extremely uncomfortable. we usually ate dinner as we watched a movie or continued a series we had previously started. then we would go to bed and we would wake up to the disaster we left downstairs the night before.

tonight beomgyu opened netflix and scrolled to some random movie that was based on a book we had decided to read together not long ago. we didn't care that it was some stupid coming of age movie that was deemed a story for girls. 

we didn't give a shit about the dumbass people who decided that movies and books and clothes and even colors for god's sake had a given gender. we didn't care that breaking that stereotype made us 'different' or 'girly'. because it was our happiness that mattered. not other people's stupid opinions. 

the chicken didn't last long and beomgyu cleaned any small sliver of food or sauce left from his hands and mouth with a napkin before he continued with his watching habits. 

he loved to play with my hair. if i was to say that i didn't like it i would be lying straight through my goddamn teeth. 

everytime i felt his fingers fluff my bangs so they would position out of my eyes, or he would run his hands through my hair my spine felt shivers and my stomach flipped.

to be cliche, he gave me butterflies like nobody could ever even imagine.

when i had finished eating he took the napkin from my hands and wiped the corners of my mouth for me. it felt like my heart was going to explode. i knew if i didn't calm down he would see my sparkling eyes of pure lovestruckeness because of how close his face was to mine.

i knew he would hear my racing heart and my heavy breath that i would hold every now and then in absolute shock at the boy before me. he would see the heated blush creeping in as he did things that egged on the fantasy.

so i took the safest route and let myself doze off after a few minutes of focusing on the movie.

my head unknowingly found itself resting on his shoulder. his warm breath was against my head as he looked down at me and rested his cheek against my hair.

he still had his hand up playing with the strands of my blonde hair, resting his elbow on my shoulder so his hand wouldn't get tired.

i knew the ins and outs of everything that he did from heart. even when i was asleep. i knew that after a while, he would pull me over to rest my head on his lap so my neck didn't get sore from bending to reach his shoulder. then he would fall asleep with his mouth open letting small breaths out as his head bent backwards and his neck looked like it would break as he used the couch cushion as a pillow. 

he would put his own comfort at risk for mine. and that's one of the many things that made it so hard not to fall for my best friend.

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