Eight Letters / Taegyu; Until the End

two

you know my worst

word count; 692

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"come on. you have got to admit that the lesson was somewhat interesting today."

i shook my head and laughed at him throwing his hands up in the air in defense. 

"there is no fucking way that we had an interesting lesson or will have an interesting lesson for as long as school is in existence. you can't even pretend that you paid attention because i saw you sleeping the entire class period."

beomgyu laughed and ruffled the hair at the back of his head. the habit he picked up over the years, especially after he had let his hair grow out. i grinned at his wide smile that lit up his eyes with a special glimmer that i had never known could shine so bright until i saw it in him.

"oh yeah by the way, have you heard about the new kid that's supposed to be enrolled in our class sometime this week?"

i nodded with an image of recollection. 

"yeah the teacher mentioned something about him today. i don't really remember much but i do remember that he's from abroad and he has a really cool name."

"cooler than mine?"

"one hundred percent without a doubt cooler than yours."

he pouted and elbowed me. it felt like we were a couple of third graders everytime we had these stupid little 'arguments'. but they were still treasurable moments.

"did you get the test review answers from soobin hyung yet?"

i sheepishly smiled realizing that i completely forgot to get the answers from our friend for the upcoming test to share with the latter. i didn't quite need them because unlike beomgyu i actually studied. and luckily for me i also paid attention in class and developed a sense of great knowledge keeping skills from my father. 

"you forgot didn't you?"

i widened my eyes with what beomgyu said to be my 'evil smile' and he playfully slapped my arm.

"maybe if you didn't sleep during school then you might be able to pass a test on your own."

"yeah yeah whatever mr. genius."

he unlocked his front door and we took off our shoes and through down our bags at the entrance on the small table in the hallway by the door.

immediately we both made our way to the kitchen and began rummaging through the cabinets and the fridge like a group of vultures scavenging for food scraps at a death site.

"where are they off to this time?"

i put my hand on gyu's shoulder and played mindlessly with the hem of his sleeve where it closed off the shoulder of his sweater.

"not sure, somewhere abroad i think. i wasn't really paying attention. after so many absences it doesn't really matter where they're going anymore ya know."

i nodded because i felt the same way. our parents were all either an entrepreneur of some huge business or a worker of some firm that meant business trips almost every week. 

it was uncountable how many birthdays and Christmases i've spent with the choi family or just beomgyu himself. it wasn't that our parents were horrible. of course it could be worse. they could beat us or be unsupportive or leave us out in the streets to fend for ourselves.

but they didn't. they were just absent a lot. they were just doing work. business to put food on the table as they liked to call it. 

i used to feel bad about having self pity when i was abandoned once again by them when they chose their career over their only son. 

i used to feel guilty because even if i didn't have it the best at least i didn't have it the worst.
but i read somewhere that it's okay to feel bad for your situation even if it is better than other's.

it made me feel better to be told that it was okay to feel bad about the way things were even if others may have it worse, because at the end of the day we all have what we are given and we all have the right to feel the things we feel.

"taehyunie do you want to order some chicken?"

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