The Engineer (Bucky Barnes x OC)

Chapter 12- Someone please tell me what happens in this chapter

Author's Note: Hi, there! I haven't had any problems with this yet, but if I see any homophobic comments in this story I will not hesitate to report them and delete them. No homophobic slurs, terms, or comments, please. Thank you :D

~

That night

Bucky didn't show up until late that night.

"Hey, Bucky," I said as he entered. "What happened? Is everything okay?"

"It's all fine, thanks," he replied, sitting down on his bed and resting his face in his hand. His singular hand, may I add, because I wasn't finished with his metal one.

"...doesn't seem fine," I added, knowing that it didn't take empathic abilities for me to know that he was very 'not fine'.

He sighed, grabbing his sleep clothes and starting for the bathroom. "I'm fine,"

"So... did you guys talk about anything important?" I asked awkwardly as he entered, got dressed extremely swiftly, and exited, heading over to his bed. I realized very quickly that he was shirtless and tried not to stare or turn red, both of which were natural instincts.

Not to say that I randomly stare at muscular dudes' muscles. That would be weird and kinda creepy. I'm just saying that this particular not so random dude had seriously sparked my interest and I was having a hard time not feeling kinda excited to see him shirtless.

I give up trying to explain the way my brain works.

"Nothing important, no," Bucky said airily, his mood seeming to lighten at the sight of my attempts to keep a straight face while staring directly at his abs and biceps.

The fact that he was ripped was not making my situation any easier.

"Nico? You good?" he teased, sitting down on his mattress and pulling back the sheets.

I nodded hurriedly and busied myself with preparing my sleeping draught. He laughed softly and snatched his off of his nightstand, too, drowning the whole thing and forgetting to say goodnight.

With another look at his toned abs that were only semi-buried by the sheets of his bed, I drowned mine, too, slipping into a dark sleep.

~

2:15 a.m.

I awoke once again to my wristband vibrating like crazy. I checked it, and once again, felt like someone had poured frigid water down my back.

280 beats per minute.

Nearly 300 beats per minute.

Bucky was in a crisis.

Again.

I nearly leaped out of bed and examined Bucky's figure. Like the night before, his figure was quivering and trembling like mad, and he was groaning and writhing as though he were in pain.

"Bucky?" I whispered, my heart thundering in my ears. I carefully slid my legs out from underneath the covers and started towards him cautiously, knowing what to do.

"Bucky, please," I whispered to him quietly, kneeling down beside him. "Bucky, it's okay, I'm here,"

I reached out to touch Bucky, lightly stroking his arm again.

Bucky froze, just as he had the night before.

"Bucky?" I whispered, feeling as stiff and frozen as he was.

The air seemed to still. I checked my wristband.

310 beats per minute.

320 beats per minute.

330 beats per minute.

I felt the ominous warnings my gut was giving me a moment too late.

Bucky's entire body lurched at me, his fist curling around my throat. He squeezed it tightly, as though he wanted nothing more than to drain the air out of me.

"Bucky!" I rasped, clawing at his fingers. I had more hands than he did, and he still would not remove his grip.

Bucky stood from his bed, throwing me to the ground. I stumbled and coughed, gasping for air as I crumpled to a heap on the ground.

"Bucky- Bucky, please-"

He dropped down on top of me, his fingers latching around my neck once again, tightening more and more until I writhed on the ground, crying and clawing at him, silently begging him to let go.

My lungs screamed and burned as the world blurred around the edges. My head was so light and so heavy at the same time... everything was so strange and eerily still...

My fingertips finally managed to dig their way under his and drag his fingers off of mine. In one motion, I used all of my remaining strength to shove him away from me and suck in as much air as I could. Oxygen filled my body so quickly I was quivering as I managed to rise to my feet.

Something slammed into my stomach.

Bucky football-tackled me, sending us both flying into my mattress. I fought and struggled, but he was pinning me down with his body. I kicked as he raised his fist, preparing to punch the life out of me.

I made the mistake of lurching up as he leaned forward to swing.

Our faces crashed together, resulting in a completely accidental kiss.

Bucky froze once again, going completely limp against me.

This is the part of the story where I experience what is widely known as a "gay panic attack".

For a few moments, we just kinda sat like that, his lips lightly caressing mine and neither of us moving a muscle.

Then, instead of punching my brains out, I felt his fingers lightly drift into my hair, grasping it and drawing my face even nearer to his. It turned to a deeper, more passionate kiss as my hands found themselves gliding around to his back.

Does he know that I'm a boy? I wondered vaguely as Bucky drew back ever so slightly, drawing in air. Even better question- why is he not trying to kill me?!

He made a connection with my lips again, and I started to realize just how tired I was.

I fell asleep kissing him.