Thoughts At Night :(

No, I'm Not Okay

•••

"Honestly, No I'm not okay... and I haven't been for a while, not just these past couple of months but in a way, I haven't been okay for a long while I just never realised how ... broken I was, how deep into it I was until I stopped ... I was always so distracted with school, my job, my sessions, people.. and those distractions kept me away from realising how severe my issues are and now my issues are all I can think about but I don't know how to deal with them, so for the past couple of months I've been on an emotional rollercoaster. There are days when I just feel completely numb to all emotions and again I don't know how to deal with that. But that's okay.. because even if I can't fix it, I've lived with it for so long that I don't even know how it is to feel otherwise and this has become my norm, therefore ill manage like I always have... Now I'm just more aware of it... Which I guess should be better than having no clue right? It's a step forward in a way. So no I'm not ok... But that's ok."