Rock Bottom (Sequel to How it Happened is Irrelevant)

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A/n: Please read How it Happened is Irrelevant before you read this 
Set three years after How It Happened is Irrelevant (so 2017)
Sorry to break your hearts
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Craig's POV:

It's had been three years of sex, kissing, cuddling, dating, 'I love you,' and quick arguments between TJ and I. Considering it's been three years, that's pretty smooth sailing. I would be grateful, but there's a problem with it. 

I don't feel anything anymore.

For the first two years, the drowning, heart throbbing, sickeningly sweet love I felt for TJ was completely ablaze and in full function. I never thought I'd ever be out of his spell's influence. Lately though, I didn't feel anything. When we kissed there was no electricity, we never had intercourse anymore, and when we went out together it was less like lovers and more like friends. Even when we shared a bed, I let my insomnia get the best of me. The scent of cigarettes that I'd used to find so hot on him now was gross to me. The constant drinking drove me insane. I could always find something wrong with him, from singing too nasally to being too much of an attention whore. I'd considered marriage a few times, but never followed through with it. I even asked Ronnie what I should do. He told me that since I was still considering tying the knot recently, it's possible I'm just bored with the current state of our relationship. I didn't believe him though because when TJ and I said 'I love you,' it felt robotic.

I was alone in this feeling though. TJ was still just as alive and ecstatic as when we first got together. He dragged me around like his favorite stuffed animal and bore me like a medal of honor. He was lovey-dovey and all over me constantly. No matter where we went, or who was around, he made everyone in the room aware that he couldn't possibly be more deeply in love with me. I didn't want to break his heart. Once, I'd asked him if he thought he'd ever stop loving me, and his answer was: "I'll love you forever, even if we never get married."

That last line, "even if we never get married," always got under my skin. If he wanted it, why didn't he just pop the question? Did he not want to? Was he waiting? I never knew. 

I was finally fed up with it after a while though. I'd let him get through the show so that he could be happy for the fans, but afterward I'm ending this. I can't lead him on forever, that's not fair to either of us. 

Before the show, I told TJ that I wanted to see him on the bus after the show. He smiled and told me he would be there as quickly as he could. I was actually waiting for him for a few minutes before he showed up. He was clutching something in his fist. I couldn't tell what it was. "This isn't working out," I told him.

His expression looked confused, then fell. "O-oh." He nodded, his grip loosening on the object and then tightening.

"I'm sorry. I've been leading you on for a few months now. I just don't feel it anymore."

"No, no. I get it." He looked up at the ceiling, clearly trying not to look at me and break right now. "Thank you for not letting me look like a total fucking idiot."

"What do you-?" It hit me then. The thing in his hand. It was a ring. "Oh, TJ. I'm so-"

"No, no. Don't be sorry," He cut me off, returning the box to his pocket. "I just....I need some air." He left as quickly as he could, nearly falling down the stairs. I felt so badly for what I'd done. What else could I have done though? We'd promised that even if we broke up, neither of us would leave the band. I just don't think this is what TJ had thought would happen when he'd made that promise. Max was right, falling in love with your bandmates is a mistake. It's a destructive fucking mistake. 

TJ's POV:

I sat on a park bench, thinking. The ring felt heavy in my pocket. Smoking reminded me too much of Craig. It all hurt. Half of me wanted to burst into flames and burn everything, the other half of me wanted to break down and break something else. Kevin came up to me, a grin on his face until he saw the expression on mine. "What did he say? No?"

"I never asked."

"You chickened out?!" He hit my arm. "You've had that ring for two fucking months, waiting for just the right moment. Why would you-"

"He broke the fuck up with me! He doesn't fucking feel anything!" I screamed. I took the ring box from my pocket, popping it open and looking inside. "And this," I took the ring out, "this means nothing." I raised my arm and was about to smash it on the ground, but I just couldn't. I put it back in the box and stuffed in into my pocket. "The only thing I never stole for him. The only thing I paid for. Two thousand dollars, gone," I mumbled. "And all for what?!" I didn't care that tears were streaming down my face. "He was my world for six fucking years! I was madly, blindly, stupidly in love with him for six years! I spent every waking moment of the last three years of my life with that bastard for him to just throw it all the fuck away?!" I slammed my fist into the park bench, breaking open one of my knuckles. 

"Oh, TJ," Kevin sighed. "I'm so sorry. Everything's gonna be-"

"No it's not going to be the fuck okay!" I shouted in his face. "You don't fucking understand! He was the love of my life." A small squeak came from my throat. I fell to my knees on the pavement. "I loved him. I loved him so much. I still do."

Thrasher took a deep breath and put his hand on my arm. "I'm sorry."