Rock Bottom (Sequel to How it Happened is Irrelevant)

16

A/n: This story is going nowhere fast. 

I woke up on the bus. Craig was playing some video game next to me. "What time is it?" I grumbled. 

"Like four in the afternoon. Don't worry though, there's no show today." 

"What?" I sat up. "Why not?" 

"Because Thrasher's still recovering, and you're in a worse position." He gestured to my arm, where there was a single red dot. "You can't do things like that," He told me. 

I shook my head. "See? Here you go again, pretending to care just so I don't kill myself. I thought you were the one who said 'for better or for worse.'" 

Craig dropped the controller and hit me across the face. He punched my arm. Then he grabbed both of my shoulders and shook me. "When are you gonna wake up?! When are you gonna listen?! When is it gonna be too much?! Tell me!" He tightened his grip, making his knuckles go white. "When, TJ? When?"

"I'll listen when I'm dead," I muttered, another conversation like this one popping up into my mind. A fight with my mother. 

"Please stop being so damn stubborn all the time." 

"Then stop treating me like a child! I can make my own decisions, Mom!" My vision was going red. I pulled out of Craig's grip. "And let go of me! You're just a bitch without anyone to love you. Why do you have to take away my own happiness for your benefit?!" 

"Your- What?" He looked so confused. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I hate you!" I shouted, and with that, I ran away. 

Craig's POV:

"I hate you!" TJ shouted. He ran off immediately afterwards. 

I shook my head. "What on Earth is he talking about?" I asked. 

"We're back!" Kevin called, entering the bus with Robert. "I feel so much better." He looked at me. "I'll take it you didn't have much luck?"

"He told me he hated me," I said. "I honestly think that he meant it."

"You have to go get him," Robert said. "Before he does something."

"No. I think he just needs to be alone. Besides, he's completely broke, and I already got rid of the heroin he bought last night."

"How do you know he's completely broke?"

"I know where he keeps his money," I explained. 

"I think Craig's right. TJ probably just needs to get himself together. He'll come back when he's ready," Kevin said. 

It was nearing bus call. I couldn't wait much longer. Going against my own word, I set out to find my moody bandmate. The night was cold, but even the freezing wind biting at my skin wouldn't stop me. 

I'd trekked out probably a mile before I finally found him, lighting up a cigarette. In the flicker of flame, I could barely make out his watery eyes. "Hey, T," I started. 

He jumped at me, sniffing sharply. "Why'd you come for me?"

"It's almost bus call," I explained as gently as I could. 

"I don't hate you," he mumbled. "I can't hate you."

"I know."

"I'm sorry I compared you to my mother."

"I forgive you."

"I can't go back with you."

"Why not?"

"Because Robert'll freak."

"I won't let him. Kevin either."

"Why are you so nice to me?"

"I'm tired of fighting. And clearly yelling at you only drives you away." I sat on the curb. "Talk to me."

He sat next to me and took a long drag. "No one loves me."

"I love you," I told him. "No matter how hard I try not to." A little beast in my heart cheered and did a few cartwheels. 

"You're only saying that now."

I hid my frustration. "So if I make you happy now, and do everything I never did before, it's only out of pity?"

"You can't make me happy," He shook his head, rubbing his nose with his sleeve while he sniffed again. 

"Sure I can. I'm the only thing that does make you happy." I moved closer to him so I could put my arm around his shoulder. "Really happy."

"I hate that you're right."

"Then why do you keep trying to replace me?"

"Because you left me!"

I thought for a moment. "I wish I could go back and never do that. I was an idiot, really. Even after I did it, I felt terrible." I reached into his pocket, which still had the ring box. "You've been keeping this?"

"I love you," He whispered. "I just couldn't let it go."

"Funny story," I started. "The last day of the last tour we were on, I was gonna use this. Even drunk. I guess it's just weird now, isn't it?"

"We weren't even together and you were going to propose?" He raised an eyebrow. 

"Yeah, well..." I grinned. "I thought it would show you I was sorry."

TJ dropped his cigarette. "I never let you take initiative that one time you were going to," He whispered to himself. 

"It's better now, though. I'm sober and you're going to be, right?"

He thought for a long time. "I haven't drank in over twenty-four hours, and the heroin's gotta be out of my system by now."

"In that case, ignoring the events of the last month and a half," I opened the ring box. "I ask this question. Will you marry me?"